My Love, My Fire-y One

I love my Everett to pieces.  He has a lot of emotion in his little body, much of it good.  Tonight he tenderly read (repeated from memory) Ashley a story and tucked her in bed.  He brought her a lost stuffed animal or two ("I'm a smart looker, Mom" he said), and claimed a hug and a kiss from his sweet little sister.  Then he sweetly assured her that if she was scared, all she had to do was call his name and he would come talk to her.

And he did.  She called him a few times, and each time, Everett would flash me a loving smile filled with noble purpose and shrug his shoulders fondly as he went to help little Miss Ashley.

Of course, I had to put an end to the sibling visits.  It would get no one to sleep anytime soon!  But my heart was sweetened.  Everett is not partial to Ashley, either.  He will go through the same routine with William if I let him.  One-year-old William is not as patient as his older sister and will fuss if Everett's song (always Spiderman) lasts too long, but Everett is never discouraged.  One look into his hazel eyes and you can easily see the love gleaming out.

All this happy and peaceful emotion has its counterpart.  Everett can also be very firey.  We have been traveling and, though generally good-tempered, Everett has been on edge.  He does not like being away from home and sometimes it shows--every day or two he needs to get a massive rage-fest out of his system.  He will go from calm and happy one moment to yelling, thrashing, and cursing the world the next.  Then, after a few exhaustive minutes the switch is flipped and we have our congenial little boy back.  His outbursts are rarely so severe when we are at home.

It is on this trip that Everett has adopted the practice of yelling "You DUMB MOMMY!" at the top of his lungs when in time-out.  I learned long ago that it is impossible to reason with Everett when he is raging.  It is better for all if he is tucked away in a room by himself and gets enough anger out so that he can listen calmly once more.  When he is calm again I try to hold him in my arms for a minute or two so he knows he is still loved.  That always seems to do the trick and before I know it, I have my happy Everett back.

I have debated about punishing him further when I hear those words, but I've decided against it.  Though he doesn't hurt my feelings because I know he is just angry, I don't want him thinking that he can say things like that to anyone else either.  But when Everett gets to that point he is already so far into his rage that words, let alone another punishment, would have no effect.

But I do remind him to apologize when I let him out of time-out and most of the time, he is genuinely sorry.

Tonight, after tucking Ashley in bed and playing a game with me, Everett had another tantrum.  It was not as bad as some he has had recently (he was slightly more coherent) so when he was yelling alone in his room, this is what I heard.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" (pause) "YOU. . . YOU. . .YOU. . .NICE MOMMY!  AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

His tone did not convey the same sentiment as his words, and it made me laugh.  It is a good thing the door between us was shut or Everett would have seen my grin.

What a fireball, what a smarty, what a crack-up, what a loving boy.  That is my Everett and I love every bit of him.

Ashley's Birthday

Ashley just turned three!  In a way, I can't believe it.  But it mostly seems that she should have been three a long time ago.  She is just like any other child--she is advanced in some ways and not in others--but she has always seemed older than she really is.  Maybe it is her ability to be serious or maybe it is that she was able to speak in sentences long ago and has now graduated to complex thoughts and questions.

Ashley is basically a whole bunch of fun.  She is always content (except when she feels Everett has wronged her, which I'm sure will happen more often as they both get older) and her giggle is like a fluffy, rainbows-and-candy dream.  She bounces and twirls and pretends all over the house.  She loves watching "Go Diego Go!" along with half the other three-year-olds in the nation.  She loves horses and monkeys and if something is particularly impressive, she will announce that it is the best "in the whole jungle!"

When William is crying, Ashley loves to come make silly faces or flop on the ground until he laughs.  Then she is always proud that she is the one who made him happy.  Although Ashley generally isn't too social, she is very caring and we love her for it.  When you pick her up, she wraps her arms and legs tight around you.  This is a little girl with a lot of love in her heart.

SO, we had a great birthday weekend!  It was just perfect for a three-year-old.  The best gift was a visit from Grandpa Burton.  He was coming through the area on business and stopped at our house before we all drove to Utah.  Unfortunately Ashley's birthday happened to fall on the day we spent sixteen hours in the car.  Of course, she didn't mind that we celebrated early.

The night Grandpa Burton arrived, the kids would not leave his side.  I let them stay up late and Everett and Ashley were thrilled.  Everett jabbered to Grandpa the entire night.  Once when Everett said, "hey Grandpa?"  I said, "What?" and he corrected me pointedly and sternly, "I am not talking to you.  I'm talking to Grandpa."

Point taken.  All the kids were thrilled with their new Chinese pajamas.

These came all the way from Shanghai, I believe.  Ashley and Everett were very excited.  Grandpa picked out perfect pajamas for these kids.  (Do you spy William's swollen forehead bruise and black eyes?)

We went to a Teppanyaki restaurant the next day for Ashley's birthday so the kids could be wowed.  Everett certainly was very wowed.  Since the chef lit the grill with great blasts of flame not once, but twice, Ashley mostly cowered.  But we all agreed that the food was good (especially my seared tuna).

Next up was a viewing of Cars 2 in the theater.  Ashley was pretty restless but I think Everett liked it.  I wasn't too impressed.  Hopefully Pixar's next movie will be better.  William did great for a one-year-old.  He made a little noise but since there were so many young children in the theater I don't think he bothered anyone.  Dum-dum suckers kept him quiet for most of the show.

We kept presents pretty simple.  No need to over-do it, otherwise she'll just have big expectations and feel entitled for next year!  But it ended up being a better production than we had planned.

Everett painted Ashley a stick.  

She was very pleased.

Next up was a stuffed Dora the Explorer figure.  Everett saw it secondhand two weeks before her birthday for less than a dollar and wanted to buy it for her.  I was impressed that he kept it a secret for that long.  I told him that if he ever wanted to talk about it, he should come to me.  He did.  Several times a day he announced that he was still keeping the gift a secret.

Don't let the look on her face fool you.  Ashley has wanted nothing to do with that doll, much to everyone's surprise.  I finally figured out why.  You see, Ashley intensely dislikes dolls of any form.  She can hardly stand to be in the same room with a doll (and that is no exaggeration).  I think maybe this Dora doll looks a little too much like a real doll.

Everett was pretty disappointed.  He kept asking her sadly if she would like to hold her doll, or if she would like to take it to bed with her, but she refused to talk about it.  I felt bad for him, but as Joel pointed out, disappointment is a part of life and the sooner he learns to deal with it, the better.  Still, I know how exciting it is to pick something special out for someone you love, and I was glad to at least share that with him.

Then Ashley opened some awesome soccer uniforms from Grandpa.  Every member in the family has one!  We will have to dress up and take a picture.  Ashley loved these uniforms and the kids were especially excited to know that the name on the back was Messi.  Messi is the perfect name for two preschoolers to wear, don't you think?

The last present was a doll house.  The last classic little girl present I gave Ashley bombed (yes, it was a baby doll) so I was hoping this wouldn't.  So far all the kids loved it.  It is a cute firehouse.  I painted some of the inside rooms to look like our house but I still have to do some touching-up.  Did you know that little horses can live and play in dollhouses?  Well in this house they are even welcome on the furniture but the garage is definitely a great stable.  William's favorite game is to run off with the furniture.  Fortunately Ashley is mostly very patient with him.

Ashley's birthday dinner was perfect for a three-year-old.  Hot dogs, strawberries, and watermelon.  The adults had brats and sauerkraut.  

I knew Ashley would want a purple cake, so that is what we made.  She loved decorating it with sprinkles but she had trouble blowing the candles out.  After witnessing the massive fire burst at the teppanyaki restaurant the day before, I think she was too afraid to get close to the flames.

Ashley laughed when Joel pulled the candles out.  "There are holes in my cake!" she exclaimed.  

It tasted pretty good, too.  You can't tell, but the actual cake is purple-colored as well.

It was a fun birthday.  Ashley is excited to be three years old and go to preschool in the fall.  I am sad that my little baby girl is a preschooler now but it is fun seeing her get big-girl ideas.

Announcement

I am happy to announce that we are expecting again!  I am about 18 weeks along and due at the end of November.  It is a boy and we are thrilled.  You will probably think we are crazy (and crazily busy) but I think the real craziness will begin when we have four teenagers in the house!  Compared to that it is a piece of cake right now.  Well, to each his own as they say, and this is what works for us.  Right now I'm just trying to savor every single moment before my house of preschool joy and tantrums turns into a house of teenage angst and problems.  My biggest fear with having these kids close together is that I will get too busy and miss out.  So I have learned to slow down and pay attention to all the time we have together.  Thanks to all of you who inspire me to be better in this regard.

I was 99% certain that this baby is a girl, but I was wrong.  If it wasn't so blatantly obvious on the ultrasound monitor I don't think I would have believed it.  But I have always liked little boys and I am excited to have another one.  As for everyone else:

Ashley wanted a sister (her dreams of having a sibling with long hair like hers are no longer) but I think it will be good for her to have another rough-housing brother.  Some of the coolest girls I know come from families with lots of boys.  Ashley talks to the baby and is excited to meet him but it is all still pretty theoretical for her.

Everett will be five by the time the new guy is born and is very excited.  He loves being a big brother and is the best oldest child I could ask for.  And yes, he does enjoy thinking that he is in charge.  Everett usually accepts it when I try to correct this assumption, but occasionally if he is grumpy he will shout back, "yes I am!!!"

William is, as always, happy and oblivious but he is so social we are sure he will adjust well.  He will be close to two when the baby is born.

Joel is excited but with four small children at home I might have to up his baby diaper changing to more than three per week :).  Hopefully William will be as easy to potty-train as the others were.

As for us, so far our kids have been great sleepers and we are crossing our fingers for the next one.  As per Murphy's Law, our tried-and-true methods for baby sleep will no longer be effective with this child, I'm sure.  Colic, anyone?

I told Joel I will feel perfectly happy with four.  That is more than we could ask for already.  I don't know why we have been blessed in this way when there are so many people more deserving of these blessings than we, but we try hard to remember to be grateful.  

We are open to suggestions for names.  Go ahead.  Lay them on us!  I'm pulling for James but I am not too attached to it.  We will also appreciate middle names that coordinate with James if you can think of any.  We sure can't!