My Love, My Fire-y One

I love my Everett to pieces.  He has a lot of emotion in his little body, much of it good.  Tonight he tenderly read (repeated from memory) Ashley a story and tucked her in bed.  He brought her a lost stuffed animal or two ("I'm a smart looker, Mom" he said), and claimed a hug and a kiss from his sweet little sister.  Then he sweetly assured her that if she was scared, all she had to do was call his name and he would come talk to her.

And he did.  She called him a few times, and each time, Everett would flash me a loving smile filled with noble purpose and shrug his shoulders fondly as he went to help little Miss Ashley.

Of course, I had to put an end to the sibling visits.  It would get no one to sleep anytime soon!  But my heart was sweetened.  Everett is not partial to Ashley, either.  He will go through the same routine with William if I let him.  One-year-old William is not as patient as his older sister and will fuss if Everett's song (always Spiderman) lasts too long, but Everett is never discouraged.  One look into his hazel eyes and you can easily see the love gleaming out.

All this happy and peaceful emotion has its counterpart.  Everett can also be very firey.  We have been traveling and, though generally good-tempered, Everett has been on edge.  He does not like being away from home and sometimes it shows--every day or two he needs to get a massive rage-fest out of his system.  He will go from calm and happy one moment to yelling, thrashing, and cursing the world the next.  Then, after a few exhaustive minutes the switch is flipped and we have our congenial little boy back.  His outbursts are rarely so severe when we are at home.

It is on this trip that Everett has adopted the practice of yelling "You DUMB MOMMY!" at the top of his lungs when in time-out.  I learned long ago that it is impossible to reason with Everett when he is raging.  It is better for all if he is tucked away in a room by himself and gets enough anger out so that he can listen calmly once more.  When he is calm again I try to hold him in my arms for a minute or two so he knows he is still loved.  That always seems to do the trick and before I know it, I have my happy Everett back.

I have debated about punishing him further when I hear those words, but I've decided against it.  Though he doesn't hurt my feelings because I know he is just angry, I don't want him thinking that he can say things like that to anyone else either.  But when Everett gets to that point he is already so far into his rage that words, let alone another punishment, would have no effect.

But I do remind him to apologize when I let him out of time-out and most of the time, he is genuinely sorry.

Tonight, after tucking Ashley in bed and playing a game with me, Everett had another tantrum.  It was not as bad as some he has had recently (he was slightly more coherent) so when he was yelling alone in his room, this is what I heard.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" (pause) "YOU. . . YOU. . .YOU. . .NICE MOMMY!  AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

His tone did not convey the same sentiment as his words, and it made me laugh.  It is a good thing the door between us was shut or Everett would have seen my grin.

What a fireball, what a smarty, what a crack-up, what a loving boy.  That is my Everett and I love every bit of him.