Let's Be Genuine

I try to keep this blog positive because it is less of a dumping ground for my brain and more of a record so for my children so they can remember their childhood. 

BUT, sometimes I am afraid that the blog starts to sound annoyingly like a Christmas card from Mrs. Perfect's family.  Those of you who read this blog know me or have known me in real life, and are probably painfully aware of my many imperfections.  

Our days don't always go smoothly.  It takes us at least an hour-and-a-half to get out the door to go anywhere in the morning, if I want to get everyone fed and dressed with clean bottoms and matching shoes (forget about matching socks.  I've given up caring about that.).

Sometimes I go two days without showering.  Sometimes I don't brush my teeth until after lunch.  Sometimes  I make poor food choices, like downing a handful of chocolate chips and two pieces of bread for lunch.

Our toilets always have pee on them.  Dirty underpants scatter about the house, the self-conscious ones hiding in shadowy corners.  My floors never stay clean.  My windows are worse than my floors.  And dusting?  I can't remember the last time I did some of that.

Sometimes, for no good reason, I just wake up grumpy.  My darling, intelligent, caring children from the day before suddenly transform into annoying little devils.

Sometimes I feel like I'm frantically shouting from a corner and no one is listening to me.

Sometimes I get really, really tired of little bodies pulling, pushing, touching, and laying on me.

Sometimes I am just so tired that my head hurts, my eyes, hurt, and my feet drag, and if I sit down on the couch for more than ten minutes I will likely fall asleep.

Sometimes I cringe when I hear the latest "Moooo-ooom!"  And sometimes I just want to go hide under my covers, or at least use the bathroom without someone walking in on me for goodness sakes.

Basically, I fail at a lot of things.  There are many nights I lay in bed being overridden with guilt for the things I should or should not have done, and the feeling that someone else, anyone else, would be doing a much better job than I am.  I yell at my children when they get out of bed, I scowl at my sweet husband, and I berate myself inwardly for not getting it right.

I don't feel like this often.  Most of the time I go to bed feeling satisfied and happy--glowingly happy--about having the opportunity to be at home with my children.  On these nights, I love my husband, I love my children, and I love my life, and sometimes I'm so happy I am surprised that daisies aren't sprouting from my forehead.

But that doesn't mean I don't have exhausting, emotionally-draining days.  And that's all I wanted to clarify.

Growing Up

Everett is growing up.  I can tell that his sense of reality is becoming stronger and more definite.  A few nights ago when I was tucking him into bed, I commented on the frost covering a storm window in his room.

"Everett, look!"  I said, " The frost is glittering on your window!"

Everett looked and was unimpressed.  "Mom, I've got to tell you something.  That frost is not glittering.  It is just the light shining through and reflecting on the ice."  Everett was unapologetic but empathetic to my feelings in his statement.

I laughed.  "How do you know that, Everett?"

"I dunno.  I just do," Everett replied with a nonchalant shrug.

One morning last week Everett asked me for permission to do something.  I don't remember what it was, but I do remember that since I didn't have an explainable reason for my answer, I answered with the most frustrating answer known to man.

"Because," I told Everett.

Everett was impatient.  "Because is not an answer," he informed me.

I laughed, then replied with the second most frustrating answer known to man, "Because I said so."

Everett accepted this answer without argument, which leads me to believe that he is not too grown-up yet.  Don't tell this to him, though.  Everett refers to himself as a "grown-up kid."

Until recently he has not wanted to even discuss going to kindergarten.  I haven't worried about it.  We still have six months to prep him for it.  Yesterday, as we were on our way to the library, Everett informed me that he decided kindergarten would be a fun place.

"What made you decide that?" I asked.

"I had a dream last night that I went to kindergarten and I liked it!" Everett beamed from the back seat.  I asked him what the dream was about.  He was fuzzy on the details but apparently he made a friend and they played some fun games.  Yep, that's about right.  I thought he might have dreamed that they got to fly in a rocket ship to outer space or something equally as outlandish and exciting.

On Monday, after a Family Home Evening lesson in which we discussed that we are all children of God, Everett asked me where Heavenly Father lives.

"Does he live in outer space?  I could tell that Everett thought this sounded right but wasn't quite sure.

"No, Heavenly Father lives in heaven."

"But where is Heaven?"  Everett was trying to figure the whole thing out.  Unfortunately, I did not have a concrete answer for him.

"I don't know, Everett.  But what is important is that you know that he loves you and can hear you talk to him."  I was relieved that Everett wasn't frustrated by my answer.  Sometimes human nature leads us to try to find complicated answers for everything and I am glad he has not reached that point yet.

Everett has become very interested in building things.  Yes, mostly he builds weapons or space ships.  This is a picture of Everett with his "Kaiact."  It shoots enemies.  Everett even spelled it for me: K-Y-M-L-F.  Make sense?  I try to remember how much fun he has when he goes around the house cutting string, using all my tape, and assembling random objects together--including pieces that may or may not be from something I need.  "Mom, I thought of a new invention!" Everett will announce, and my irritation dissipates.

One day Everett brought me a piece of paper with little squiggles on it.  "I made up a new language," he announced.  He was very proud of himself.  He even spoke a few words of the language for me, but since I don't possess the gift of tongues, I cannot translate for you.  You'll have to be content to look at the scribbles.

Everett is also still interested in making up stories.  All of his pictures go along with some sort of narrative.  In this one, the Monster (figure on the right) is mean and locks up the Alien (figure on the left) in a brick enclosure.  "But then the alien realizes that he has red lasers coming out of his arms and he breaks free!"  Everett gleefully announces.  A whole bunch of other stuff happens, too (see drawings at the bottom), but since I don't have the fresh mind of a five-year-old, I can't remember.

Well, that sums up my Everett.  I love this little guy.  He knows how to take care of all his siblings.  He still has to kiss me three times on the cheek each night.   He still likes to sneak in bed with me in the mornings.  He still thinks I'm pretty tall.  He still thinks I have all the answers, and he is just so much fun.

Basically, what it all comes down to is this:  even though Everett thinks five is practically grown-up, I'm sure glad it isn't!

Ashley Loves To Draw

I don't know how Ashley became so interested in drawing, but at the end of August it was as though a switch was flipped--suddenly she wanted to do little else.  It was amazing.  I literally had to drag her away from the table (after hours of drawing) so we could get some other things done.    

She is not as consumed with drawing these days, but she does turn out some pretty good pictures.

Most of these pictures were done just after she turned three, but some are more recent.  I saved them because I thought they were cute or funny.  Maybe someday she can show them to her kids and they can get a good laugh as well.

First, we have Ashley's horse phase.

I believe this is the very first horse she drew.  It is so cute!

Some were tall. . .

Some were bright. . .

Some had beautiful tails (which meant they were girls, apparently).

Ashley has since figured out that the nose needs to be longer and the legs skinnier, and I'm a little sad about it.  I loved these quirky earlier drawings!

We also witnessed Ashley's mermaid phase.

(which also happened to coincide with her bubble letters phase)

Any guesses as to who this mermaid is?  This one was done during Stake Conference a few months ago.  Best Stake Conference ever as far as our kids' behavior goes!

Occasionally a few other magical creatures showed up.  Ashley never quite figured out what it was she drew here.  She just wanted to make something up!

Ashley also went through a people phase.  In fact, she still enjoys drawing members of our family.

This was her very first self-portrait just after she turned three.  I love the hands and feet and the little bangs she gave herself.  (That thing next to her is her favorite plush cat.)  I have no idea what that little dude is doing on her face.

A typical person of Ashley's.  I love how she gets the letters in her name mixed up sometimes :).

I included this one because it is funny.  Ashley drew this on the back of an old receipt during church.  At the bottom is a picture of Ashley and me at the store.  In our shopping cart are apples, a stick of butter, and a banana.  That's probably pretty accurate as far as our weekly purchases go!

Most noteworthy is Ashley's love of drawing cats.  They are all portraits of, yes, her favorite plush cat.

Ashley dreams of having her bed filled with cats.  Here is a picture of that wish.

Favorite cat, yet again.

Sometimes Ashley branches out and draws other animals, like this raccoon, but not often.  She just loves cats too much!

I am interested to see if Ashley's love of drawing will turn into a life-long hobby.  I used to enjoy drawing the way she does, but I don't do much with it now.  It would be fun if she keeps with it so we can have an artist in the family!

Family Visits

We were very lucky to have family present for not one, but two holidays this year!  My Parents and siblings made the trek out for a wonderful Thanksgiving week.  We really enjoyed their visit.  I am mad at myself for not taking very many pictures.  I didn't even get a group shot with everyone at the Thanksgiving table.

We were hoping that James would make an appearance while my family was in town, but no dice.  However, we did have some fun.  I took these pictures Thanksgiving afternoon when we had to get out and enjoy the unseasonably warm weather.

Grandpa helped Ashley feel more confident on Everett's bike.

(he helped William too!)

Ashley was a little nervous to get out on the road at first, but soon she was giggling with delight.

The kids also enjoyed the hammock swing.

It is so relaxing.  One of these days I'm going to have to try it for myself.

Everett and Grandpa even kicked the soccer ball around.

Everett was thrilled, of course.

Everett, Ashley, and William also enjoyed playing with their aunts and uncles and especially their Grandma Burton.  We ate great food, played games, watched movies, and even went out to eat a couple of times.  It was a wonderful distraction for me, because I may have just given up and started wallowing in self-pity because I was 9 months pregnant and sore and grumpy.  I really wish I had taken more photos of everyone, but those will have to do.   

And then. . .my parents came out for another visit over New Year's so they could see baby James and be here for his blessing.  

During this visit, we went bowling.  Everett has been bowling once before but I don't think he remembers.  Ashley had never been.  

It was fun!  The kids enjoyed it for the first few frames and then their excitement petered out.  I think it was a little long for them since they had to wait for four adults to play as well.

If I remember correctly, Everett got a strike on his very first try!  I think this gave him the motivation to continue to the end.  He is also competitive enough to enjoy trying to beat the adults.

Ashley enjoyed bowling the first few times but after that she didn't even care to see if she knocked any pins over.  It was pretty funny!

And, in case anyone is wondering, yes I did beat Joel.  However, we had put the bumpers up by the end and he will argue that it isn't a true win.  BUT, he bowled with the same bumpers I did and we didn't see him eek out a win now, did we?

Everett and Ashley also had a lot of fun with their Grandma.  They baked cookies, cuddled, watched movies, and giggled.

(Everett is looking at Grandma in this picture.  Isn't that cute?)

They also put on a puppet show with a box Grandma Burton set up for them.  Thanks to Grandma Johnson for the puppets.  They are tons of fun!

Grandma Burton is also great at reading stories.  Everett and Ashley really enjoyed listening to her.

We really had a lot of fun with our family members here.  These visits from my family make us really look forward to seeing Joel's family later this year.  The kids are so lucky to have four wonderful Grandparents they can see!

Blessing James

On New Year's Day, we blessed James.  It was a wonderful occasion.  My Parents were able to fly out for the weekend and it was a blessing to have them with us for this spiritual event.  We missed Joel's family but we are excited for their visit in the spring!

I don't remember whether James slept through the blessing, but he was quiet.  It's a good thing he was because this was our longest baby blessing yet.

We are so blessed to have James in our family.  He brings us a lot of joy already, and I know he and William will be great buddies when the older kids are off to school.  When James cries, all I have to do is pick him up, talk to him, and nuzzle his cheeks with my face a bit and he settles down.  It took him a few days to decide he really wanted to open his eyes, but now that he has he is interested in all that is around him.

Here are some highlights (taken from Joel's notes and mine) from James's blessing, for the family members who weren't there but wished they had been:

James Burton Johnson has been blessed with a special name.  He should remember his name because it is a reminder of his powerful heritage.

He has the light of Christ, which is a great gift, for with this gift he will have his first experiences with the Spirit. He will feel the Spirit early on.  He will have a desire to develop this gift.

He will have a desire to be baptized.  The Spirit will guide him and will give him the strength to continue in the gospel and the priesthood.

James has been blessed with a special power to help others.  He will have the power of charity.  He will be able to see their full potential and love them for who they are. He will be able to help others come to know the Savior.

James has been blessed with a gift of a wonderful mother who will show him how to develop charity.  She will be an example to him.

James will experience the blessing of service, and will have great joy in life.  Because of the charity he will have, James will serve a mission and help others come to the gospel.  This will happen in a manner that will be a special help to him as he becomes an adult so he can do what's right, not waver, and return to live with our Heavenly Father.

Can't ask for more than that in a baby blessing.  We are so grateful for James, and though I love having a newborn baby in the house, I am excited to see him grow up.  I hope I can do what I need to in order to help him become the person he needs to be.

Christmas Aftermath

Joel had a few days off work for the Christmas Holiday and we all enjoyed lounging around and playing with our new presents.

Santa brings candy in the stockings at our house, and William was amazed.  Any time someone went into the kitchen, he'd run in and beg for more candy.  Suckers were his favorite.  He'd go through two or three at a time!  

Needless to say, the candy is all gone now and I am glad.  But it was pretty fun to see this little guy get so excited about it all.

Joel surprised me with an ipad.  Guess who loves it the most?

Yep, Everett.  No wait, Joel.  No, both of them.  I use it all the time too, of course, but not without those two vying for a turn.

I constantly hear from Everett about a frog-breeding game, "Hey Mom, I just want to check on my frogs.  I'll be super fast, I promise."  

All the kids received pillow pets from Santa.  I figure this is the last year that Everett will truly be a small child with his Christmas wish-list, because next year he will be in kindergarten and will hear about all the cool things his friends are getting for birthdays, etc.  

Each of the kids only had one thing on their wish-list, and they got it.  It wasn't the pillow pets, but they were  thrilled about them anyway and have used them constantly.  Everett got a husky dog, Ashley got a purple unicorn, William got a lion, and James got a Moose (which is being taken care of by Everett until James is old enough to use it).

Lots of fun.  Everett had a little extra fun a few days before Christmas when he found his most expensive and non-returnable present (a bunch of Legos from ebay) under my bed, opened it, and started playing with it before I could catch him.  

I banished him to the basement playroom until dinner while I cleaned it all up.  I was mad, but mostly mad at myself because I meant to move the box that morning.  I would have done the same thing at his age, given the opportunity.  But Everett and I did have a talk about why it's best to wait for the surprise and how it makes me feel that he opened it early, and I think he understands.  Not too big of a deal.  Besides, isn't this something every child does at least once or twice?  

We had a great Christmas and a nice relaxing vacation, which made getting back to real life pretty easy.

Merry Christmas (so what if I'm getting to this a little late?)

A sweet friend of ours gave James this darling Santa outfit.  He spent quite a bit of time in it during the holiday season, and he looked adorable all the time.

I don't think Santa normally has this expression on his face, but then again, I don't think his mother makes him lay on the floor for a photo shoot when what he really wants to do is eat.

We had a fancy dinner on Christmas Eve, thanks to Joel's work which gifted us a voucher to Hy-vee's meat department.

Then, while some wassail was brewing, we read the Christmas story and acted it out.  With a brand new baby in our house, the story was even sweeter than normal.

William The Shepherd took it upon himself to help Joseph lead the donkey into Bethlehem.

Our realistic-looking stable.

The kids enjoyed acting out the story of Jesus' birth.  I enjoyed reading it again.  James did not particularly enjoy being in that basket, but as the baby of the family he does not really have a say.

After the Nativity, it was time for presents!  We always give a new pair of pajamas on Christmas Eve.  This is a tradition Joel and I share from childhood.  I always looked forward to this--that one gift was often enough to hold me over until the next morning.

The new pajamas and slippers.  I made Ashley's (she has always wanted a nightgown so I made it as long and billowy as possible), bought Everett's, and William's were found by Grandma.

Between these and new pajamas from Grandma Johnson, the kids did not wear regular clothes for a week after Christmas.  

After pajamas, we enjoyed wassail and Christmas trifle, and then we sent the kids off to bed.  Ashley was thrilled to finally be able to share Everett's bunk bed.  They were asleep by 8:00 and got up around 7:00 the next morning, and of course they slept much better than Joel and I did.  Between James and being antsy about the presents, neither of us got much sleep!

This truly was a special Christmas.  We baked a little, we spent time together, and thanks to the internet, we did not have to worry about rushing around any stores.  

Our new baby James reminded me continually of the infant Jesus, and I am grateful for that gift.  Christmas makes me want to put just as much effort into remembering the Savior for the rest of the year.

Thanks to all of you for making our Christmas more meaningful.