Sometimes We Do Actually Have Fun

But it looks different depending on the parent. For instance:

Fun with Mom--at the Library.

(fun for Ashley = pulling all the books off the shelves, and reading a few of them)

(fun for Everett = pop up books, dinosaurs, his own special bench, and sharing the fun with Ashley.)

Fun with Papa looks a little more like this:

I don't know when the kids have more fun, but I do know this: I am the nurturer, teacher, and snuggler, and Joel is the big bucking beast whose special talent is extracting belly laughs.

I think I'm okay with that.

Complacency (or, Skip This One Because It's About Potty Training Again)

Complacency is a dangerous thing, I've decided. We all know we shouldn't become complacent in our testimonies, and we shouldn't become complacent with our messy houses, but we definitely should not be complacent with potty training.

Everett has been an absolute gem, only having a handful of accidents since we've started this process, and always only the "wet" kind.

The past few days have been really easy. He hasn't had accidents. He didn't even go in his diaper at nursery on Sunday. He can stay dry the entire night about 2/3 of the time. He's demonstrated his ability to "hold it" until we get to a potty. He has never gone in his underpants when we're out to a store.

Until today.

We were standing in the workbook aisle at Wal-Mart, only for me to look over and see Everett examining some sort of sticker book while a growing puddle started appearing between his feet.

"EVERETT!" I exclaimed, but not loudly enough to draw attention from other customers. "What are you DOING???!"

He simply stared at me for a moment and then returned his gaze to the book.

I stood speechless for a minute, then whisked him to the cart, not even minding the flyaway drips from his crocs that splattered across my bare calves.

I was sure confused--earlier this morning he did the same thing while he was browsing the food in the refrigerator. As a punishment, I took away his giraffe which I thought had appropriately traumatized him away from doing this again.

But I was lucky. Everett gifted me the opportunity to clean up more messes when we came home from the store. I ordered Mr. Carefree Bladder to the bathroom while I got him a change of clothes. When I returned, I found him standing two feet away from the toilet, watching in silence as he urinated on the floor for the third time today. My primary reaction was to cover my face with my hands, but when I tossed him in the bathtub I couldn't help wondering if since Everett loves baths these days, it would feel less of a punishment and more of a reward. Eliminating bathtub playtime should have done the trick, but I can only hope.

Like I said, it all comes down to complacency--his and mine, but mostly mine, because let's be honest, I'm supposed to be the adult here, right? I think I may have to revert back to the potty- trip-every-half-hour-just-in-case approach for a few days.

Or I might have to start chopping toes off. What do you think?

Big Messy Art

I have been continually impressed with the kinds of regular activities our housing community has. A couple of weeks ago, everyone went blueberry picking and got their first two pounds for free. On Friday night, we had a huge bonfire (started specially by the fire department) and s'mores.


Friday morning was a fun activity called "The Big, Messy Art." Let me tell you, it was quite a hit, even with many of the very youngest kids. The people in charge put out a whole bunch of things for kids to paint on big pieces of butcher paper with--cars, marbles, sponges, balls, jacks, toothbrushes, you name it.

Even Ashley enjoyed it, though not for long. Everett liked trying one thing out for a few seconds, then discarding it for something completely different. I stripped them both down to their undies (well, Everett had on a pair of old shorts). No way was I going to worry about washing paint out of any clothes.

Eventually, though, he discovered that it was much more fun to paint himself. I don't know why he insisted on orange, but it does make quite a statement.

"Orange," Everett says matter-of-factly when I ask him what he did to his stomach.

Ashley followed suit, though I am not sure it was completely on purpose. She certainly didn't enjoy the clean-up.

When the painting was all done, the kids got to run around with a huge parachute. This is a favorite activity, and though Everett doesn't care about following the directions during the games, he sure likes running under it.

On Going Potty: Reclaiming Boyhood

Everett discovered a per-ity neat trick the other day. Want to know what it is? I'm sure you do--I'm sure the anticipation has been unbearable. Well, here it is.

This little two-year-old discovered while sitting on the potty that if he uses his fingers to control a certain appendage in a particular way. . .it will result in a really delightful, controlled, wiggling stream of urine.

(delightful, that is, if you consider wiping the toilet and surrounding floor quite regularly to be fun.)


(I don't.)

I'm telling you, the entertainment he's found by this has not diminished at all in the last 56 hours.

And I'm not expecting it to until he's about 30.

Things We Learned This Week

Everett can never get enough attention, especially from some of his Aunts and Uncles. My family passed through here on their way back to Utah (yes, to live) and Everett spent every waking moment with praise, admiration, and little sneaks of candy.


My kids still have a special place in their hearts for their grandparents. Ashley spent much of her time toddling over to Grandpa's lap while he was here. The only other thing they needed was a visit from Grandma, who was in Utah already caring for Uncle Nick.


Sometimes making your own popcorn in a pot is a lot of fun, especially when you make it into caramel popcorn at the end. Plus, at 99 cents a pound, it is a whole lot cheaper than microwave popcorn. Plus, it really doesn't take that much longer. Plus, it really isn't hard at all. Plus, you can add whatever you want. Plus, for those of you worried about this, there will be no preservatives, artificial colors, or flavors. Plus. . .well, there are a lot of plusses.

All Everett cared about was that it tasted good for our family movie night (the Charlotte's Web with Dakota Fanning--worth a watch.)

(Also, it's nice to prove all those naysayers wrong (*cough* Joel *cough*) and prove that yes, I CAN make popcorn in a pot.)

Apparently, you CAN catch the stomach bug over the phone. Sorry, but it's true. My kids had it last week, and my family got here and had it the second day they were here. Somehow, my Dad escaped the bug. What do the sickies have in common? They both talked on the phone with Everett, who had been very sick. Could they have caught it from someone else? Possibly, but they spent the majority of those intermittent days being confined to the inside of a car.

When Ashley had the stomach bug, Everett felt so sympathetic that he had to take her on his lap and snuggle her.

But apparently Ashley did not appreciate this gesture all that much.

Finally, we learned that seagulls are thieves with a major sweet tooth. We had a nice bag of cookies in our beach bag on the beach at Lake Michigan. . .and when our backs were turned, guess who dug out this bag and began tossing it around in an attempt to eat it? Yes, that's right. The crazy gulls. Fortunately Everett didn't mind that the cookies were now crumbs.

Breakfasting--More Than You Ever Wanted To Know

When I was growing up, my family always had breakfast together in the mornings. Most of the time my Mom would wake up earlier than the rest of us--regularly even earlier in order to get some exercise in first--and prepare us a nice meal. French toast, eggs, german pancakes, toast out of homemade bread, fruit, yogurt and granola, oatmeal. . .we've had it all. Yes, my Mom is a Supermom.

No, I do not do this myself. As creatures of habit, we still like to have breakfast our own particular way.

Everett is on a major toast kick. He has to have one half covered in peanut butter, and the other covered in jam or honey. Then we have to fold it exactly in half (or he obstinately returns it) and put it in a specific kind of bowl.

Joel likes cereal and will help himself to a large bowl of it every morning while looking over a textbook. Honeycomb, Cheerios, Rasin Bran, Corn Chex, Frosted Mini-Wheats, he likes it all. As long as you don't give him Grape Nuts, he is happy.

I am not very good about having breakfast--usually I just get too busy. When I do, though, I like to have fruit and yogurt or maybe an egg on toast.

Ashley loves oatmeal. I think she would eat an entire tray full if I let her, and still want more. All I have to do is put a little honey and cinnamon in it and she is good to go.

So far, she hasn't been too interested in using a spoon. Though I have never really liked oatmeal, I am glad she likes it so much. It is cheap and good for her, and it keeps her full for a long time.

What do you do for breakfast? What would you do if you had time/resources to do anything?

Ashley, Sweetheart

I've posted kind of a lot about Everett lately, so I thought I would do a post just about Ashley. (You have heard a bit about her lately, so feel free to skip this one.) She certainly is just stepping into the age of discovery, and she is getting very good at figuring out her surroundings.

She's started saying "oh-oh!" (uh-oh) when she spills/drops/breaks/can't find something.

She is constantly walking around with her fingers in her bellybutton.

When I say to her, "Ashley, where's Everett?" She will reply "Oh!" and shake her head back and forth. This is because when I first started asking her this, I would pretend like I was looking around all over the place for him..

She nods when she wants something, and shakes her head when she is not happy with a situation, but I don't know that this is 100% intentional.

When I tell her "No!" she stops what she was doing and moves onto something else. This used to make her cry; now it just makes her serious and obedient.

She gets a big kick out of sharing her food with me.

She loves to be chased.

She goes nuts when we pass the stuffed animal aisle at Wal-mart.

And, now, when we're outside, she doesn't like me to just hold her anymore. This is what she has to be doing:

Playing in the giant sand box. Yes, that is her discarded pacifier. She still likes to eat the sand so I give it to her in the hopes that she will keep it in. Still hasn't worked.

Tunnels. She will sit in here for a long time and look out the little circular windows.

Of course, the slides. She is a pro at going down by herself.

She loves to slide, and then immediately race back to the stairs so she can begin the whole process over again. I used to be able to go out and read a book while the kids played, but not anymore! Now I have to watch her all the time because I'm paranoid that she'll fall.

She just figured out how to kick a ball, and was excited about it, but decided the slide was much more fun. I can't say I blame her (sorry, honey :) ).

Also, she loves the ducks! She hasn't fed them yet, but she loves watching them.

Best Pals

Everett and I have always had a close relationship, but lately it seems our relationship has reached a new level.

He doesn't need me for all the little things anymore the way Ashley still does, but he still wants me. If he finds something new, who does he want to show? Me. If he is excited about something, who does he want to tell? Me. If he is being shy, whose leg does he bury his face in? Mine.

On Sunday he had a bit of trouble going into Nursery. It is still new for him--new people, a new room, and new toys--and he is still used to me being able to go in with him. He asked to go potty a few times, and Joel tried to take him in, but ultimately he decided on me. When I took him in my arms for a snuggle, he laid his head on my shoulder and put his arms sweetly around my neck. I explained that his friend Tyson was ready to play with him, and that they were going to have a yummy snack and sing some fun songs.

He tapped his chest with the palm of his hand while he said, "Maaaahhhhm" which meant that he wanted me to come with him. When I said I couldn't, he asked for Ashley. When I told him we could not come with him, I saw his lip begin to quiver and his eyes begin to get teary.

But he stood a little straighter and bravely agreed to go in by himself.

When we went into the classroom, though, all the new sights and sounds quickly overwhelmed him and he turned toward the door.

"Everett," I said gently to his retreating back, "It is time to come play with these kids."

He turned toward me, the look on his face plainly displaying his discomfort and his wide, blue eyes broadcasting his fear.

"Ohmmm," he said, pointing pleadingly to the door.

Everett's sweet, sad, little request to go home made my heart throb. I knew he wasn't comfortable. I knew he was scared. I knew he wanted me to stay with him. But I also knew that it is important for him in the long run to learn how to handle new situations without me.

So I gave him a final hug and kiss and told him I'll be back after he has his snack. As I opened the door, I heard his wails start and saw a kind nursery worker try to comfort him, not knowing that if she isn't delicate in the right way I can't even explain, he will feel much worse.

It is hard for me to see him so sad when I leave him in Nursery, because I know he can't communicate his needs very well to those strange adults he is uncomfortable with anyway. I know how overwhelming new situations are for him. I know he feels much better when I am near him.

But the reason this is difficult for me is that he will be three years old in a few months--only a few months. It is harder for me to see him sad the older he gets, because I know with each passing month his discomfort and fear grow more acute, quickly outgrowing his ability to understand these feelings. Someday he will be old enough to know how to comfortably handle unfamiliar situations, and soon he will even feel okay about going into Nursery by himself. But right now he is stuck in that awkward stage between baby and boy, not able to quite understand why he feels the way he does, and not able to really have an accurate grasp of the passage of time.

I am his stability, and as he gets older my feelings for him grow more tender. Someday soon he will not need me the way he does now, and someday he may not even want me. But until then, I am Mama, and our worlds are not complete without each other.

State of the Bladder

Lately, I've been feeling a little like I'm pregnant again.

Well, that is to say, I can now report on the location, quality, and cleanliness of the restroom facilities in many stores in our area. Since Everett is out of diapers (aside from during sleep) now, errands are a bit more of an experience. When I strap him in his car seat, I give him the same talk I always do.

"Everett, we're going to ride in the car for a while. You CANNOT go potty in the car. You must wait until we get into the store and I will find a toilet for you to use. Do you pee in your underpants? (no, he says) Do you poop in your underpants? (no, he says) That's right. What happens if you go in your underpants? (no prize tonight, he iterates)"

He nods agreeably through my mini-lecture and understands exactly what I expect of him. So far, we've had no accidents in the car, and I'm hoping this trend will continue.

Our process when we go in the store is a little complicated. I have him use the bathroom in each store we go to, mostly for my peace of mind and less for the comfort of his bladder. Telling a teenage employee at Wal-Mart that there is a "spill" in aisle 7 for him to attend to is not high on my to-do list.

However, Everett's reserved nature extends to unfamiliar bathrooms. This necessitates an introductory trip when we enter the store, in which I show him the facilities and maybe even use them myself. . . and in which he nervously clings to me. If I take him in my arms and tell him he doesn't have to use it now, he is fine. If he thinks he has to use it, his pulse pounds, he dissolves into tears, and is inconsolable until we exit the bathroom.

Before we end our shopping trip, I have to take him back in the bathroom for one last visit, which usually happens as uneventfully as can be expected when I cram myself, a walking one-year-old, and a toddler who has to strip halfway down, into a stall the size of a refrigerator.

So far, no public accidents. I'm counting my blessings.

Today, he napped without a diaper and without an accident. I hope he will continue to have this much bladder control, because I have no idea how we're going to night train him. Any ideas?

Things Everet Has Discovered This Week

Driving the car. The kids were recently babysat by someone in our complex, and so when we came to pick them up, we just decided to park by their building. We live just a couple of buildings away, so Joel let Everett sit on his lap and drive to our building. He was completely awestruck, and when Joel told him to make a left turn, he did it all by himself! I tried to make it clear that this is a one-time thing and that he can only do this when Papa helps him, and he hasn't asked since.




Everett also discovered that he can make an airplane out of his blocks. He was exceptionally proud and immediately requested that we take a picture.




He had to get one with all of his favorite things, too, including the tower he made.





We haven't been very good about getting books from the library. We went last week and Everett has been loving having some new books around here to read. I admit, I have been too!





One day I heard some funny noises and saw Everett, all stripped down and sitting in the dryer with his trucks neatly lined up. He thought he was hysterical and could not stop laughing.





He also discovered the joys of shadow fingers and making your face glow red with a flashlight. It was his prize for staying dry today, and he has been beyond excited for it.




We checked out a pop-up book about sea creatures. They are very life-like and Everett has loved it, except for the shark page. He was scared of it at first, but was also morbidly curious--he asked for this book over and over. In case anyone has nothing else to do today, here is a video of some of his antics.

Amateur

Everett continues his love of taking pictures. I don't necessarily think he is a budding photographer, although if I agree with John Locke and his tabula rasa theory, I'd say we could make him into one :). I think he would have a long way to go, but he definitely has "point and shoot" down pat.

We look kind of funny, but I like this picture because I'm on my tiptoes and Joel is schlumping over. . .so I look taller. Yes, I've always wanted to be a little taller. Yes, I know this is never going to happen. No, this doesn't keep me awake at night.

I think I married a pretty great guy. If I want his help with housework, I only ever have to ask him once and he does it without complaint. I just need to get better at asking rather than simmering about it. If I tell him I want to do something together, he finds a book for us to read (The Outliers by Malcom Gladwell--so far, very good). A couple of weeks ago, he woke up early on a Saturday morning and disappeared. Where was he? In the garden, tackling all 200 sq. feet of our "weed disaster zone" that was supposed to be a thriving garden. He did it just to surprise me, even though I told him in no uncertain terms that he didn't have to lift a finger in the garden. Now that, people, is romance.

He is understanding of me. He is always telling me "thank you" or complimenting me in some way, and he is always saying to Everett, "Isn't Mama so good to us?" or "Go give your Mama a hug."

I admit, I don't get tired of any of it.

F-U-N

Today I looked over at the couch and saw Ashley sitting there with a washcloth on her head. She had such a pleased look on her face that I burst out laughing, and of course Everett had to climb up there and put one on his head too.

However, he thought it was much more fun to whip it off his head as fast as he could, getting Ashley to laugh.






But I think he was the one who was laughing the most.

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Potty Training Status:

Trained! Well, mostly. We've had only a handful of accidents, and generally those have happened when Joel and I didn't take him to the bathroom often enough.

I have been too nervous to take him on errands in underpants, so he now knows that when he is wearing a diaper, he must still use the toilet. So far he has not had a wet diaper at all except for at night. One day he held it for four hours while we were out.

He doesn't volunteer to go to the bathroom much, but he is willing to do it if we ask him to. When I take him in I try to make silly noises when he goes so he still thinks it's entertaining. So far, so good.

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Ashley had her 12 month check-up today, which was great because she was very sick over the weekend. I almost took her to an Urgent Care clinic, but I didn't. Come to find out, she had/has the remnants of a raging ear infection! Poor girl. We have some numbing drops now, but she has been almost back to normal today.

Here are her stats this month, if anyone wants to know:

Height: 27 inches/20th percentile
Weight: 18 lbs, 10 oz/12th percentile
Head: 47 cm/95th percentile

Crazy! I don't know how, but her head has really grown. Also, I've been so excited to be able to turn her car seat around, but we have to wait. I don't know how long it will take her to get to 20 pounds, but whenever it happens, she'll be happy to be looking out the front of the car.

Independence Day

We had some fun this Fourth of July, even though we are far away from family. We began the day with whole wheat pancakes and homemade strawberry jam. . .which I think Everett and I liked better than Joel. Oh well. Can't have french toast all the time.

Then, just in time for a rainstorm, we had a barbecue/potluck with other members of the Village. They had a little bike parade planned, but we decorated the kids and let them walk around the community center instead. The biggest bummer due to rain was that we didn't get to have our bonfire and s'mores, but there wasn't much we could do about it. We'll do it sometime during the next couple of weeks.

The Fire Department came with a fire truck and a department golf cart. The best part was that they gave all the kids fire hats, which Everett, of course, loved.

We woke Everett up at about 10:30pm to go do fireworks. Even though he didn't know what they were, he jumped right out of bed and ran outside. Our friends had some that shot up in the air, which were Everett's favorite. We had a few little ones that were fun, but Everett kept asking why they didn't go up in the sky.

We were rewarded with lots of excitement and lots of good facial expressions from Everett. Fireworks are the most fun with kids who are thrilled by them.




But my favorite, by far, was watching his reaction to the "sky" fireworks, as Everett labels them.

Classic.





I was pretty nervous to let him try a sparkler, since they are such a burn hazard, but I am pleased to say that he handled them very delicately.

He also enjoyed the little poppers (snaps? What do you call them), but mostly liked to just step on them. After a few of those he was ready to go inside, and best of all, he went to bed without a fuss. Thank heavens!

What a fun day! I admit, on this day I do not think enough about the freedoms we have been given by our ancestors, many who paid for it with their lives. Whether we're happy with the economy, the government, or what Ashton Kutcher is twittering about, we live in a nation that believes in freedom, a nation that is filled with moral people, and a nation where we don't all feel the effects of war in our day-to-day lives.

And that, I think, is a pretty good thing.

Like Magic

Last week I was playing around with a pencil and broke it. Everett thought it was hysterical and kept re-enacting the breakage, which evolved into his first magic trick. He couldn't get through it without giggling at what was to happen, but he enjoyed doing it several times. And yes, because I always have the camera, we have it on video.

If you feel like watching the little Wizard, here you go.

FYIs:
His "mahs" are actually a mimick of when I was doing the trick and singing a little "bum, bum, bum" tune.

His "ayck" is break.

Going Strong (also, TMI again)

Underpants: Dinosaur

Hours worn today: Two and a Half, from the time we bought them to the time Everett went to bed.

Trips to the potty: Four (all successful)

Accidents: None

Tantrums thrown: Only when a certain someone discovered that he couldn't wear the underpants to bed. This is day one, people. I have no idea what kind of bladder control he has. Plus, I was kind of hoping he would be sad to take them off. This is going to be the motivation for staying dry.

Interest: Strong. After turning Everett backwards on the toilet, he was able to see the waterworks in action and had a major giggle-fest.

Hopes: High, but not too high. Tomorrow will be our biggest test. Also, whenever the moment happens that going to the bathroom stops being fun--that will also be a test.