Stereotypical Mommy Blog Post on Potty Training

If you don't like to read about toilets, poop, or gummy worms any sort of excrement, skip this post. I mean it; you have been warned.

*Moving on*

For the past couple of weeks in our house we have been maintaining an open dialogue about bowel movements and the location of our subsequent relief. Well, I should clarify that by saying Everett and I have been having these conversations. The most we've gotten out of Joel is a few non-committal grunts.

You see, for some reason it has been quite interesting to Everett that Joel and I use the toilet while he uses his diapers. Everett comments on this habitually, telling me several times a day that I poop in the toilet, Joel poops in the toilet, and he poops in his diaper.

"Do you want to poop on the toilet?" I would ask. "If you do, you can flush (a source of great amusement)."

"Nope." He'd casually reply and move on with his business. Apparently he just wanted to re-state the facts.

I was fine with this. He won't be three until November and to be honest, potty training has been the last thing on my mind.

But today was different. Today Everett found me in my room, and gently tapped my leg.

"Poop." He stated matter-of-factly, patting his bottom.

"Ok. Go get a diaper and I'll change it for you." I assumed he was making his usual request.

"Nope." He said, shaking his head and pointing to the bathroom. "Ehts (toilet)."

I displaced the little thrill that began to shimmy its way to my fingertips--we hadn't even started this process, and I didn't know if he even knew how to control his muscles enough to produce the bowel movement on command.

I sat him on the toilet and watched as he began to push slightly. Only urine came out. When he hopped off the toilet to examine the contents, he looked perplexed--he knew something had happened, but where was the poop? So, I took the time to explain the different functions and where they come from. But he was done and I sent him on his way.

Two minutes later, I felt another tap on my leg, and another confident request that something was going to happen this time.

Our second trip to the bathroom was rewarded by a small amount of exactly what Everett had been hoping for. He took great pleasure in putting an extra piece of toilet paper in the bowl (Ashley had to furnish a piece of her own as well) and flushing the contents. I was thrilled that he decided to do this all on his own and rewarded him with lots of praise. When Joel came home a few minutes later, Everett was rewarded with a handful of gummy worms. The pride emanated from his sticky smile, and all was well with the world.

I made sure to reinforce what happened, why, how, and the reason for his treat several times. But I know that we might not have another day like this--we are in no way close to getting Everett potty trained. We still have a long, complicated road ahead of us. However, I was extremely pleased that he seems to understand how everything functions, and that he likes to use the toilet now. I'm hoping we can have a few more of these moments over the next few weeks (with our newly-reserved candy stash) and then maybe, maybe jump into some sort of potty-training program. We'll just have to see. Does anyone have any book recommendations or other tips?

Happy Happy (OR, Requisit Birthday Post)

Well, yesterday was Ashley's first birthday. I can't believe she is already a year old! The difference between an 11 month old and a 12 month old just amazes me--it's as though suddenly they are acting like a toddler instead of a baby. Here are some of her skills we're celebrating (disclaimer: It's all the usuall baby stuff. Skip if you have anything better to do, like cleaning out your sock drawer):

Walking, walking, walking everywhere. She is a pill at church now because she doesn't see a reason to sit and play anymore.

She can drink from an open cup.

She likes to use utensils with food.

She loves to be chased. She will do her little wobbly walk/run and laugh, and laugh, and laugh with delight. Then she'll inevitably fall on the floor, still giggling, and keep her face buried while she waits for the "attack."

She will walk around the house and gather things into containers she is holding.

When she sees me cleaning up toys, she comes over and helps me put them in the right containers.

She loves playing with cars and drives them around while making an "MMMMmmmmMMMMmmm" sound.

When I beckon to her to "come here," she grins at me and beckons back as she walks to me. It's like our secret sign language.

She knows these signs: more, milk, all done, eat. She mostly only uses the eat sign, and this is probably because I've been slacking on getting her to do them.

She loves it when Everett wakes her up.

I am still her favorite person :). She loves to put her face up against mine and wrap both her arms around my neck for a squeeze.

She is extremely patient in figuring things out. She loves to get Everett's leapfrog refrigerator letter toy and fit all the letters in, then press the ABC song button.

She loves throwing balls.

She loves climbing to the top of the playground set, sliding down the slide, then climbing back up the slide.

She has six teeth now, with two more coming in (I think).

As of yesterday, she is completely weaned.

AND, she is still as good-natured and easy going as ever, except when everyone is eating something without giving her any.


My one consolation with her growing up? She still loves coming into bed with me in the mornings for some extended snuggles. Even Everett is getting too old for that.


Later today we're going over to have dinner with some friends. I'm making Nie's Chocolate Cake. So far it looks like it will taste pretty good, but I can't vouch for the presentation. If you want to make an excellent cake, I highly recommend this one. Ashley would have been happy with just graham crackers, but where's the fun in that?!


Of course, here are some comparison pictures. Feel free to skip these, too. You've all seen them before :).

Actual Birth Day



Blessing Day 1 month; 4 months


8 months; 10 months


Now!

Picture Pitchers Pitching

Yesterday I went to the Goodwill (50% off storewide sale!) to find some sandals for Everett.

Didn't find the sandals, but we did find. . .

A ball and mitt, totaling just over a dollar! Everett was ecstatic. It fit his little hand perfectly and he insisted on using the ball we bought.




Every time we go to Target, Everett loves to walk over to the baseball aisle and try on a mitt or two. He will always insist on tossing the ball around for a minute or two, then he's happy to be on his way and do the rest of the shopping.

I think he was happy to finally have one of his own.

He likes throwing the ball, but always leans his head back and looks away to catch it. I think he doesn't want the ball to hit his face, but we're trying to convince him that "watching the ball" is the way to go.

Ashley had a fun time watching the boys play, but she especially liked holding a ball all by herself. I can't believe she turned one yesterday. Isn't that crazy? It went by even faster than Everett's first year.

More throwing. . . .

More catching. . . .

And then we called it a day, all thanks to our local Goodwill!

Wants

Caption: The Face of a One-Year-Old's Cookie Drama.

Sometimes I feel like this, too, when I want something I can't have. Do you? Thankfully we don't all walk around like this all the time. Can you imagine the chaos?

Bested

Well, it's finally happened. I've been completely done in by a two-year-old. I've resorted to things I didn't think I would need to resort to, but we are still having screaming, yelling, out-of-control tantrums--that last a long, long time--several times a day (and not just from Everett).

Whatever happened to my child who was easy to get to sleep? Where did he go?

Our tantrums mostly happen around nap time and bed time now. Why? Well, Everett has a terribly long list of requests he uses each time to get us to come back in and keep him from going to sleep. Clever, no? Let me tell you, "clever" is not what is usually going through my mind during the 30 minutes of tantrumming when he is supposed to be going to sleep. The biggest problem is that as he is getting older, his wants are getting much more complicated yet he still has a 1 year old's vocabulary of sounds. Trying to figure out what he wants at 1 in the afternoon when most of his words sound the same is extremely difficult. At 3 in the morning, it is near impossible.

I've tried eliminating his nap, but it hasn't made a difference in his bedtime protestations.

We've tried time-outs.

We've tried removing Ashley from his room. He insists on going to bed with her every time. I was hesitant at first given all the noise making, but she learned very quickly how to go to sleep through it all.

We've tried removing favorite blankets, toys, etc.

We've told him we are not coming in again, and we've left him to himself.

We've given him positive reinforcement.

We've been patient with him.

We have denied him the window open, the fan on, or the nightlight, whichever we think he wants at the time.

We've tried to be understanding and listen to him.

Nothing has worked. Nothing! I have started to dread getting him to bed because it is such an all-out production. He gets, very quickly, to a point of no return--he is so upset that he doesn't listen to a word I'm saying, even if I am essentially giving him what he wants. When he is coherent, he is very easy to work with and will comply with most anything. When he is not coherent (ie, upset in any way), this is how it goes:

Everett: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! MAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Me: "Ok, Everett, you can have your _______ if you lay your head on your pillow."

Me: "Everett, you have three seconds--Everett, look at me. No, I need to see your eyes. Thank you. Do you hear me right now? {he nods through some yelling.} Ok. You have three seconds to stop yelling or I'm going out. One. . .Two. . .Three."

Everett: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(I go out.)

Everett "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Banging on the door.

Laying on the floor, looking through the space between the door and the floor and watching my feet. If he sees me come close, he starts quieting slightly. If he sees me go farther away, he dials the noise up a notch. Can you say Pavlovian? I always turn the corner so he can't see me. Eventually I go back in and try one more time to give him what he asked for, with the caveat that it is the only thing I am going to help him with. One request is reasonable, right? But I always end our days with his yelling and my impatience, and I hate that. At night I peek in on him and stroke his face and wonder why things have been so difficult, and wish that I were stronger so the last he sees of me every day isn't my frustration.

Part of me thinks it would be so much easier to just give in to his every whim, even if I have to go in there (literally) 30 times before he goes to sleep. But isn't this a slippery slope? Isn't it better to "lay down the law?" Joel always jokes that I'm the disciplinarian in this house, which is kind of true. My motto is that if he cries in time-out, it's working (yeah. . .apparently. . .).

I don't know anymore. How much slack should I be cutting this kid? It is so relieving when he finally quiets down, even if he has gotten up to give some toys to Ashley.

Today, after I told him I was leaving for the last time during his nap, I collapsed in a heap on my bed and started crying a little. The salt in my tears made all that frustration burn more profoundly. It was our fourth half-hour-plus tantrum today and it was only 1pm.

"I can't do this anymore," I half muttered, half prayed. "I just can't. I'm worn thin. I can't handle all this anymore today. I can't do it. I can't. I can't. I can't."

The whole time i was saying this, I knew I could, because I know I'm not alone in this. I knew that when I get to the end of my rope, somehow more appears and I'm able to hang on for a little longer. The whole while, I knew that Heavenly Father was listening to me and understanding my frustration. The whole while, I knew everything would be fine and my kids are not going to grow up scarred for life by my inexperience. The whole while, I knew that this is going to be one of the easiest battles I will have with my children. And I knew my reserves weren't dry yet.

But I just needed to let it out. And I knew that Heavenly Father understood that, and everything else I was feeling but couldn't say. I knew that somehow, in some way that I couldn't comprehend, He was giving me his attention and really, truly listening to me.

And I was grateful, again, for the knowledge I have of our Father in Heaven who is there for us during our eloquent prayers and our emotional prayers and our tip-of-the iceberg prayers. The best part is, He hears and understands them all, especially the parts we don't know how to say.

After a minute or two, I realized that Everett wasn't yelling and screaming anymore. He had put himself to bed and all was quiet again.

I felt gratitude swell up and overshadow my frustration, and before I knew it I had laid down and fallen asleep, a patch of sunlight streaming across my legs, as the phrase "Tender Mercies" drifted airily around in my thoughts.

Oldies but Goodies

Does anyone remember the Magic School bus? I used to love this show. I would pore over the books, and I was always secretly thrilled when my teachers would show one of the videos in class, even long after the rest of my classmates considered this show to "cool." (yes, I was/am a major dork) Sometimes the best part of the show was at the end when they showed kids calling the "producers" and commenting that they made a mistake and didn't show enough ants in the colony, etc. It was always entertaining and it was a sneaky way for scholastic to put more information in the show they couldn't have worked in otherwise.

I think I first learned about how electricity works by watching this show. I also remember an episode about molecular formations. This information served me well in high school during some of my science courses!

Yesterday I took the kids to the library and we browsed their enormous children's movie section. I picked up some promising sign language videos, and guess what? They had the Magic School Bus! I was so excied. We brought home a dvd with three separate shows about bugs, and a video about airplanes.

Everett has loved them! It's been great. It is a low-guilt way for me to let him watch movies because I feel like he is learning something. It would be nice to know how much he is really getting out of them, but I do know that he is understanding some of it. He tries to talk to me about what is going on and I do my best to respond to him, but it is just fun to see his excitement.

I am sorely tempted to see if I can scout out a collection of these for Christmas. Sadly, I don't expect to find them in my price range.

Maybe in a few years he'll be ready for Bill Nye the Science Guy. Remember that one? That was also one of my favorite shows.

What other shows do you remember from your childhood? I know these shows are rather recent, but are there any older ones that are good?

Father's Day (what else?)

Today marked the second Father's Day we've celebrated all by ourselves. We did try to make it a little extra special, though.

Joel got to sleep in this morning. This is big because he is always the one to wake up with the kids.

He got woken up to a breakfast of german pancakes and strawberry jam.

Everett gave him the gift of going to church today all by himself. Being sick will do that to you, every time. But, the kids and I did have fun getting dinner ready!

(watermelon, bacon-wrapped chicken shish-kabob with bell peppers, and asparagus)
Plenty of summery foods. I hope they enjoyed it even though the asparagus was grossly overcooked. Blech.




Ashley didn't care; all she wanted was to wolf down a hunk of watermelon. It's like watching a piranha; she gets her little teeth in there and strips it all the way down to the green in no time at all.

Of course the boys had to have a wrestling match after dinner, which is always fun to watch. Everett loves wrestling, but only when he thinks he's winning.

All in all, a great day. It has been fun to read about everyone else's celebrations. I feel blessed; I have the best father I could ask for. He is loving, always on top of it, and would do anything for us. I have benefited more times from his sacrifices than I deserve. Even though he was never a big lecturer, we always understood his expectations, and I always remembered the few times he did have something to say.

And, thanks to Joel, I also have the best father-in-law I could ask for. I felt comfortable with him from day one. His sense of humor and easygoing manner are qualities I value tremendously. His ward members are blessed to have him as their bishop.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention how much I love, respect, and admire Joel. He is like his dad in many ways, and I always tell him that if he grows up to be just like him I am a lucky person. The best thing about Joel is that he doesn't do the right thing because people are watching him; he does it because he knows it is right. Likewise, he isn't a good father because he thinks people are keeping tabs on him; he is a good father because he accepts that responsibility, and he loves his kids.

Joel is the ultimate family man--he would rather be home with us than out with the guys every night, and he always tries to make sure I am happy.

I love you, honey.

Hot?

Well, it's been getting hotter here. Today it got all the way up to the mid 80's, with plenty of humidity (yes, I know those of you in Virginia are rolling your eyes at me right now). Overall, I feel very fortunate; this year we have experienced the longest spring we possibly could have. It started in March when we were in Virginia, and now, all the way in June, we're juuuuuust starting to get our first 80 degree weather. It's been great!

We pulled out some little kiddie pools today and had a pretty good time with our neighbors. It's amazing how fun a few inches of water can be.

Even though the water was frigid, Ashley plopped right in and stayed there.



These pools were a dumpster find! Nice, huh? It is common knowledge here that when you move out, you put your extra belongings by the dumpster (yes, not in, not even touching) so anyone can use them.



Ashley was by herself most of the time, as the other kids preferred running around, but she was pretty content to just watch.

Joel was content to go to the field across the street and throw the frisbee around.

The sprinkler is always a great hit. Suddenly Everett is looking older to me. He is my little buddy--he likes to go everywhere with me, even to take out the trash. Today we went to a whole bunch of stores and he was content to just be with me. I wonder how much longer this will last.

AND, I finally got around to using up those strawberries we picked. I pulled them out of the freezer today, and. . .

Strawberry-rhubarb pie (for Joel's Father's Day dinner) and strawberry freezer jam. I just hope it all tastes good!

Somehow, these things make it seem even more like summer to me. I don't think I'll ever get tired of the summer foods, even if I don't like the heat! What about you? What are your favorite summer foods?

This Little Piggy. . .

Today I put Ashley's hair in pigtails for the first time. It is something I've been wanting to try for a while now, and now that I have, I can't believe I didn't do this sooner! I know I'm the most biased person in the world, but I thought they looked pretty cute on her. It really was amazing how much those pigtails made her look like a little girl rather than a baby.

A definite plus: now I have a whole bunch more potential for bow-making experiments.

And, because I'm super, duper generous (yeah, especially with your time), you get several pictures of the "new look". Lucky you!

Here's the BEFORE:

. . . And Here's the AFTER!

(yes, just ignore the way-too-big jeans)

And a Bonus, especially for my sister Maddy.

Maddy, are you paying attention? See the look on Ashley's face?

This is a you look. It is uncanny.

Memorize it. This is how you look often!

TMI

Yesterday, Everett wolfed down more than half a pack of mint gum before I could stop him.

(He hasn't quite gotten the hang of just chewing.)

This morning, when I laid him down for a messy diaper change, I was surprised to note that I didn't smell what I usually smell. What is usually unpleasantly odorous was strangely minty, with a few undertones of stink. On the whole, it was almost. . .pleasant.

Yes, that's right. Are you looking for ways to freshen up the chore of diaper changing? The answer is simple--give your child as much gum as he can eat. But don't use the weak flavors like "raspberry mint." Go with enamel burning, tongue-tingling mint, all the way.

In short, I will no longer mind when Everett gets into my gum stash.


Next up: diaper fresheners in pill form!

Magic

Sometimes it is really fun to have a 2 year old in the house.

Whenever he hurts himself, he brings the injured body part over and sweetly asks for me to kiss it better.

Somehow, this always works to erase the pain.

I'm not going to question it; I'm going to enjoy it until the last possible second.

And, I'm going to remember these moments during nights like tonight, in which a two and a half hour tantrum was held because some little boy had a multitude of problems with going to bed. Unfortunately for him, his parents had a multitude of problems with him staying up late. Guess who won, finally, at 10:30 pm?

{sigh.} At least I can look at my screaming little rascal and remember that he still finds magic in bubbles and healing kisses.

Sticker Afficionado

Everett has loved stickers for quite some time now, often placing them somewhere on his face rather than his shirt.

I knew this going into our move to Indiana, so I bought a book of 600 stickers for him to enjoy during the long car ride. I gave him a choice between three sticker books: Pixar's Cars, Curious George, or animals of every kind, complete with nature scenes. I was pleased to note that he immediately chose the animals.

He certainly loved them. For a good portion of the car ride, Everett resembled a Christmas tree, that is, if Christmas trees are little and have round-ish heads.

Everett is also at that tricky age where it is difficult for him to control his wiggles during church. He does a great job, and generally we have very few problems with him, but I am always on the lookout for a quiet activity he can do during the talks.

I finally came up with one that I think will work for quite some time. I went and got a sticker book filled with more animals ("reusable stickers!" it said, though I didn't really notice anything different about them). I made a vinyl sleeve, put a couple of nature pictures in it, and let Everett go to town. I did limit him on the number of stickers he could play with, but he had a great amount of fun fixing them into different positions on the page. When Sacrament meeting was over, his page looked like this:

I don't know if Butterflies like to swarm elephants and polar bears in real life, but it sure looks like fun here.

I'm hoping this will work well for him next week as well. Do any of you have good suggestions for Sacrament meeting activities? I'm sort of in the middle of brainstorming a small, folded flannel-board with scripture story characters. Has anyone seen anything like this?

Week in Review

We've done a few fun things this week, and as always, we have the pictures to prove it!

First up was the children's health museum, which we went to for free with some friends thanks to a pass from the library. It was a nice diversion, as our building's water had been shut off for the day while maintenance installed low-flow shower heads. I would have rather kept the old one, but hey, no one asked me!


They had a cute little grocery stand. I suppose this was to encourage healthy eating or something. All Everett knew was that there was a cash register and a little shopping cart, which he began filling right away. Everett loves grocery shopping.




Ashley liked it, too. Everett just liked having a customer.






Of course, Ashley quickly migrated to the big indoor slide and tree house. What fun!




You can't tell, since the camera didn't pick it up, but this screen is actually a projected game where you can play ball games, and the ball responds to the movements your shadow makes. I can't remember, but I think they were playing volleyball here.




And here was a giant floor game. You could play games like pong, or you could step on musical instruments. Here they have guitar strings, drums, and a piano.




Needless to say, it was a hit!



But we can't forget about the larger-than-life "operation" game, complete with buzzer sounds when you hit the edges.




It was pretty fun. I don't think Everett has a clue what the lung is or even that he has one (yeah, try explaining all that to a two year old), but it was fun to watch him put the pieces in.



LATER this week, we went strawberry picking. At 98 cents a pound, and after being told the kids could eat as much of the sun-ripened fruit they wanted, we were set.



Ashley was especially content to sit amongst the bushes and eat as much as she wanted. She figured out pretty quickly what was good to eat and what wasn't.




They gave Everett his own little box, which he happily filled. When I told him he could eat all he wanted, he was thrilled.


After about an hour, Everett started wandering. I told him he needed to stay by us, and next thing I knew, he was a little ways away laying down in the grass. I let him stay since he was so happy, but when we were done and I came to get him, I realized that he had found a mud puddle! No wonder he was so happy to stay over there.





What fun. His shirt was completely covered, and we won't even talk about his hands, but I am glad he had a good time.


The plus? All these fragrant strawberries. We filled this box all the way up, and now I have lots in my freezer, just waiting to be turned into jam. Tonight some friends and we are having an ice cream party with fresh strawberries as a topping.


And then, last night we let Everett stay up a little later and watch a movie with us. It was fun for him to have some time with us all to himself. I checked Shiloh out from the library along with some sign language videos and a potty training video, just for fun. Much to Joel's chagrin, Everett insisted on watching the potty video first. I wish I had a picture of Joel's expression, but I don't, so you'll all just have to imagine it.

Some popcorn and graham crackers later, Shiloh was over and Everett went to bed relatively easily.

What a week! It was satisfying and fun. I wonder what we'll do next week?