Miss Ashley Goes To Preschool

Ashley started preschool last month.  It was an exciting day for her!  Unfortunately, Ashley's first day was everyone else's third day.  She woke up vomiting early in the same morning she was supposed to start school.  I had to keep her home for two days, which meant that since they started on a Thursday, she had to wait until the following Tuesday to experience her very first day of school.

By the time we actually got to that morning, she was quite annoyed that I felt it was necessary to make her stand for pictures.

This is the best picture I took.

All the rest look more like this.

William misses having Ashley around, and tells her so every day when we pick her up.  "I missed you, Ashley!" he giggles jubilantly as she climbs into her car seat.

Ashley seems to really enjoy preschool.  She greatly dislikes discussing the details of the day and will expel a groan of exasperation anytime someone asks her what they did that day.  But she is always happy to go and is proud of the projects she brought home.

I strongly considered keeping Ashley home this year and doing preschool lessons with her myself, the way I did with the kids last year, but I knew the socialization would be good exercise for someone who is so naturally an introvert.  I've had a couple of conversations with her that really illustrate this characteristic of hers.

Shortly after the first day of school, I asked Ashley how it was.
"Fine," she replied, then said, "There are too many kids."


"Who do you like to play with at school?"  I asked one day.
"Nobody.  I just play by myself,"  Ashley answered.
"You do, huh?  Do you like to play by yourself?"  I wanted to know.
"Yeah."
"Does it make you feel happy or sad to play by yourself?"  I further questioned, hoping for a clarified response.
"Happy," Ashley answered matter-of-factly.

That was enough for me.  If she was happy, I wasn't worried.

One day I dropped Ashley off late for school.  When I opened the door to the playroom so she could join her class for their beginning segment, I heard a few girls shout excitedly, "Ashley!!!"  I asked Ashley about this later.

"Who were those girls who were so happy to see you this morning when I dropped you off?"
Ashley gave me an exasperated sigh.  "Nobody."  She stated decisively.  A shy smile played at the corners of her lips, betraying her real feelings.

Another time, when I was talking about Ashley's day with her as I tucked her in bed, she told me soberly, "All of those kids in my class make me feel frightened."


All of Ashley's comments have given me great opportunities to discuss some of these issues and set small goals with her.  Ashley's goal this morning was to find out someone's name and report it to me after school, and she was so proud of herself when she said not one, but two names.  We were able to talk about what to do when Ashley told me one of her classmates rubs Ashley's head all the time ("It's so annoying to me, Mom!" Ashley had said.).  Or what to say when you want to play with someone you don't know very well--something that isn't difficult for a lot of people, but which scares Ashley enough that she prefers to just dissociate from the situation completely.  We've been able to talk about how as you practice playing with people and become more familiar with them, that feeling of fear begins to go away.  We have discussed a lot of things.  Ashley has loved being able to complete small goals, and I have learned how to better phrase questions so she is more willing to answer them.

Hopefully we will be able to achieve our ultimate goal, which is what I wrote on the information sheet the teachers gave me at the beginning of the year.

"What is your goal for Ashley this year?"  It queried.  I wrote that I hope Ashley learns to be more comfortable about asserting herself in group situations.  That is something I cannot teach her at home, and that is a major reason preschool is going to be so good for her this year.

It will be fun to see the progress she makes this year.  She is so vibrant and smart and creative and strong, and I hope she learns to have the gumption to show it when the time comes.