It Has to be You

Everett is my darling.  He is also my high-maintenance child.  I love him to pieces, to the moon and back, more than I can say (how many more cliches can I get in this sentence?).

Our trip to Utah was interesting, from the perspective of let's-see-if-Everett-will-completely-lose-all-control-today-and-rage-like-a-dragon-or-not.  Sometimes it was all so unpredictable but most of the time I could tell when Everett was building up for an explosion.

Managing his explosions has become, with practice, not exactly easy but something I do not have to think too hard about anymore.  But decreasing them?  I had never given that much thought until recently.

I've spent my few years as a mother with a little whisper in my ear, "He needs more of you."  But life, as they say, keeps going and I didn't always do for Everett what I knew I should.  Because he really needs a lot of me.

When we got back home after our vacation I heaved a sigh of relief.  I knew that Everett would be calmer in his own home and his emotions would be easier for him to manage.  And then the rages started again.  They were not as frequent as when we were in Utah, and sometimes they weren't as severe, but the rages were a part of our life like they had never been before.

Then, with timing better than I could have planned, Joel and I started a new joint scripture study program.  It is fantastic.  Every day we each read the same chapter and record our thoughts, questions, and discoveries in a journal.  It is fun to look at what the other has written and studying in-depth like this along with Joel has really strengthened me in a number of ways.

The best way has increased my capacity as a mother and affected my dear Everett, especially.  I have more strength to play and I have more desire to make messes (all in the name of fun, of course) and I have more of an inclination to plan creative projects.  As an adult, I have not ever really enjoyed playing with children's toys, and though I spent all of my days acting out elaborate imaginative scenarios as a child, I find that now it is a struggle for me to play any sort of pretend game.

But lately I have been stronger and the desire to do these things has grown in me.  I know it is Heavenly Father blessing me because this is truly what Everett and Ashley need right now in their lives.  They are happier and more cooperative, and even more loving with each other, on the days that I get down on the floor and play with them.

And Everett, my quality time child, is at his happiest when he gets time alone with me each day.  Ashley is outgrowing her nap and time like this is not always easy to find, but thanks to a great book series I think I've figured out a great system.

I tuck William and Ashley in bed at night and then Everett and I cuddle on my bed while we pick up where we left off in our most recent Magic Treehouse book.  Ever heard of these books?  They are fantastic.  They are about 70 pages long, which lasts us two or three nights, and the plot is simple enough for a four-year-old but interesting enough for a child who is much older.  A brother and sister, Jack and Annie, travel throughout time in a magic tree house in search of lost books.  Any topic you can think of is covered in one of these books, including dinosaurs, Pompeii (Everett loved this one), and ancient China.

Everett looks forward all day to our nightly readings.  His behavior at bedtime has been fantastic.  He can keep his emotions more in check during the day.

And then, a few days ago, I stumbled on something that made me teary (blame it on the pregnancy hormones).  Courtney Kendrick, a semi-famous Mormon blogger known as CJane, posted about giving her children time.  A child psychologist friend stopped by and she questioned him about her son's latest behavior (peeing in his closet).

Instead of talking about regression or using some sort of psychological jargon, he asked if she was spending enough time with him.

"It has to be you," he said to me with his eyes as blue as they were serious and kind. "I mean, you are the established nurturer. Look at it this way, whenever he comes asking for a sippy, think of it as him asking for more of you. And it has to be you."


This is a powerful statement and it has affected me deeply.  It does have to be me.  Everett won't always want to have so much of me in his life, and I want to take advantage of our simple, easy relationship while I can.  I know I will really miss the days of having small children in the house.  Hopefully I don't have many regrets.

Right now I am just grateful for Mary Pope Osborne and her fantastic books.  They've helped me along with something I know I need to keep working hard on.

Home Again

The kids were pretty wiped out after our trip to Utah and the subsequent drive home.  Two days later, when Everett and Ashley were crabby, crabby, crabby, I let them pick one show to watch before dinner.  Well, guess who fell asleep on the couch within about five seconds?  

They both did, even though you only see Everett pictured.  Joel came home from work and we felt so bad for those tired kids, we let them sleep while Joel and I had dinner by ourselves.   Actually, this was really nice and almost like a date!  But when we finished, we figured that we'd better wake the kids up or they would be bouncing off the walls all night (so basically, not like a date at all).

Joel and I were about in hysterics as we were trying to get the kids up to the table for dinner.

Everett made it to his chair but he dozed off again as soon as we turned our backs.

Ashley only made it into the kitchen before she gave up the battle and zonked out on the fancy linoleum floor.

We did get her to her chair.  Do you think we were successful in getting the kids to have a good dinner?

Fun with Cousins (Yes, More on Utah)

On the 24th of July, the Johnsons had a fantastic party.  It was very fun and even included fireworks!  Everett and Ashley were just excited to play with their cousins (plus they have cool toys like princess dresses and legos) but the fireworks put the whole shebang over the top for them.  It was a great night and we are so happy we have such fun family members!

Thanks to my sister-in-law for the great pictures. 

William never had cheetos before this trip.  I think he's a fan!

It is an unofficial tradition to have a tetris tournament on the Xbox.  No, I didn't even come close to winning, but Joel earned his pride by winning pretty handily a few times.

The kids had a lot of fun staying up late and sitting in the cars for a firework show.

The really big aerial fireworks were legalized this year so we really were impressed (they are loud, too, when they are right over your head).

The small fireworks are fun as well.

And the kids got to use sparklers.  I explained how to be safe with them about fifty times but I was still panicking a little.

Fortunately there were not only no injuries, there were no close calls, either!

Another fun thing the kids did was participate in Grandma Camp.  Grandma Johnson has all the grandkids over to her house once a year for an overnight party.  The kids had a blast.  They played, stayed up late, ate good food, and the brave ones even camped outside.  Everett was the only camper who was younger than about 10, I think.  Ashley slept inside with the other girls as they watched a princess movie.

The next morning everyone played around and then went swimming at one of those pools with fountains and water slides.  They couldn't get enough of the water, except for Ashley who made sure she didn't ever get her face wet.

(Thanks to my sister-in-law Rachel for most of these pictures as well.)

Oma the Great (yet another Utah Trip post)

My Grandmother is fantastic.  The kids have called her Oma (the German word for Grandma) ever since they learned who she is.  The title fits her perfectly--she and my Grandpa speak German after each serving missions in Switzerland and then later serving together as Mission Presidents in Germany.  Of course, with Joel's mission to Austria and his ability to speak German, the name Oma is a perfect fit for our family. 

So when she wanted to come to Provo to give the kids each a goodie bag, we were thrilled.  They played and laughed, and--get this--our almost 80 year-old Oma even jumped on the trampoline for a while.  I couldn't miss the opportunity to get pictures.

What you don't see pictured:  rough housing, standing and jumping around, and playing "crack the egg" and "dead man, dead man, come a live."

(William was comfortably chilling out on the hammock while all of this was happening.)

The kids sure love their Oma.  Even though Oma has many grandchildren and is getting quite a brood of great-grandchildren, she has enough love in her heart for all of them.

Fun in the Canyon (Utah Trip, cont'd)

The kids were lucky enough to be able to go up a canyon not once, but twice during our visit to Utah.  They went once with some of the Johnsons, which included some very fun cousins, and they also went once with the Burtons.  The kids had a blast both times, but I only remembered my camera once!  Just imagine pictures with the Johnson side.

My kids all have a soft spot for Beautiful Aunt Amanda.  Men, she is 24, brilliant, and single.  Any takers?  Let me know!

Sharing Marshmallows (sharing = picture-worthy, not the marshmallows)

Woo-hoo!  Climbing doesn't get much prettier than this.

Aunt Maddy and Ashley are practically twins, right down to their personalities.  Yes, they jive very well.  They just get each other.  And they are both quite eye-catching, I might add!

(Men, Maddy is almost 16 and can date soon but I am not soliciting phone numbers for her.  Thank you and goodbye.)

William knows that there are two people who will always comfort him when he gets hurt: Mama and Grandma.  And he does love his Grandma(s)!

He also loves the water.  No really, I mean it.  I have never seen a toddler take to water like this fish-boy.  I half expect him to sprout gills.

Unfortunately his love of water does not come paired with a sense of danger, so he is willing to jump headfirst off any and all surfaces to reach it.  He is none too happy when we intervene, either.

But he will watch it dreamily.

My sister Maddy took these photos.  Pretty fun!

Yep, pretty fun.  William and I are buddies.  I don't know if he will have trouble adjusting to the new baby but  based on his general good nature, I don't expect he will.

William and his Papa are buddies, too.  This might have something to do with the fact that Joel will help him dunk his face in the water.  You'd think William would protest, but I think this was his favorite part of the entire day!

Happy Birthday Joel!

Joel recently celebrated his 29th birthday.  He and his coworkers had a good laugh because he has been telling them for the past six months that he is 27.  The really funny part?  Joel wasn't making that up!  He really believed it.  Too bad it isn't true.  The day I reminded him that he is a year behind in his guess, he laughed and commented that now it's like he has lost a year of his life all at once.

So, obviously the adults in our house don't take our own birthdays too seriously.  "It's just another day," we always comment to each other.  It took Joel a long time to figure out what he even wanted.

We decided to get him a grill.  It's been fun!  We've used it twice since Saturday and it is fun for me to know I can cook on it without heating up the kitchen or scrubbing a pan.  Joel and I spent several hours putting it together and I think he was satisfied with it.

We didn't do a whole lot on his actual birthday (in fact, we attended a wedding shower which couples were invited to) but I hope we got enough celebration in over the weekend to make it count.

It is fun to take a day to celebrate this wonderful man.  I love him more the longer I know him, and best of all, I respect him more than just about anyone else.  He is intelligent, funny, fun to be around, and practical.  One thing I admire most about his intellect is his ability to remember scripture.  He can always remember who said what at General Conference, even several years later!  And don't get me started on scripture references.  He is practically a dictionary on any topic.  I also don't get tired of him--Joel and I spent hours and hours talking to each other on our recent trip home from Utah because we still haven't run out of things to say to each other.  I need all of these things in my life and so do our children.

Happy Birthday to a fantastic father and a loving husband.  Knowing we are stuck together for eternity makes this deal a whole lot sweeter!

Utah Trip, Where Dreams Come True Because of Doting Grandparents

We have been back from Utah since the beginning of the month.  Why has it taken me so long to post anything about it?  Good question!  But here are about a million pictures to make up for it.

Joel stayed in Iowa until the last week of our trip.  The kids and I were out in Utah for about four weeks total, which was long enough that they had enough fun to last them all year.  (It's a good thing, too, because with the baby due at the end of November, we are not going anywhere over the Holidays.) 

Everett had a huge meltdown about every other day.  Once he got it all out of his system he was generally pretty compliant and happy.  He loves being at his own home and it was a bit of a struggle for him to be away from his familiar routine but he was genuinely sad when we finally started our 20 hour drive back to Iowa.  "I just want to go to Grandpa's house!" he repeated.

We made the drive all in one shot.  The kids were fantastic.  Except for a meltdown in which Joel carried an out-of-control Everett from Burger King to the car (no he did not get the toy he was tantruming about), the kids were fantastic.  We stopped twice while they were awake and due to my Nazi-ish control over the water, their bladders did not fill up enough to necessitate more potty breaks.  At about 11pm Joel and I decided to push through the night while the kids were zonked.  Poor Ashley woke up once and complained of a sore neck (I don't blame her one bit) but they all stayed asleep until 3am when we arrived home

We were so happy to pull into our own driveway!  We opened the door, exhausted and thrilled, only to discover that our Air Conditioner had gone kaput while we were gone.  89 degrees in Iowa humidity feels much different than it does in arrid Utah.  At least it was only in the upper 90's outside--we missed a major heatwave in July.  Fortunately a wonderful family in our ward invited us over the next day for dinner and to sit in a cool house.  We did, for six hours!  These people are saints.  

Two days later, a new AC unit was installed and realized I have never been so grateful for air conditioning in my life.  Yes, we are pampered and spoiled.

So, onto pictures.  The kids had more fun than they knew how to handle.

Everett is talking with his Aunt Mykell, who is being patient and indulging his every word.

Everett got to participate in a kool-aid stand!  He has always wanted to do this and was thrilled when some neighbors of the Johnsons let him help.

"Kool-aid for sale!" he'd shout, with his purple-mustachioed mouth.

He would watch hopefully for new customers.  They had a few because his cut of the earnings was just enough for him to be able to afford a puzzle in the dollar aisle of Target.

He also bought two mini-bakugan toys from the kids selling the koolaid.

Ashley came out and enjoyed helping for a while, too, but she did not buy any toys.

Another fun thing we did was go on a trip to Yellowstone.  We went on a float trip down the river.  It was a little long for the kids but they enjoyed wading in the bathtub-depth areas.  William was mostly only happy when I held him as he hung over the side of the raft and dipped his hands and face in the water.

But another fun part of the trip was going to Big Springs.  There are huge fish that eat bread.  The kids loved this.  

A little river otter even came over and snacked on some bread, along with seagulls.  

Everett got covered with giant mosquito bites.  I've never seen someone react so badly to mosquitos (and he was wearing bug spray).  The picture doesn't do his legs justice.  I can see faint marks on his legs even six weeks later.

William had fun everywhere but at the Burtons he uncovered his love for dogs and cats.  We only had to tell him what they were once and he was off looking for the "dah" or "cah" any time he was even close to a window.  

My sister Maddy's cat is very patient with children and so William loved that I let him follow that cat around.

I was always a little nervous, though (see above picture).  I don't fully trust animals with my kids, no matter how patient they are.  Hey, I snap sometimes too and I like to think I have more control over myself than an animal does.

I snapped this photo of Everett watching William and the cat.  Sweet, huh?

Ashley had fun with her cousins.  She was thrilled that she and a cousin who is only a month younger got matching dresses from Grandma Johnson for their birthdays.  

My parents put in a new floor while we were there.  William discovered the joys of sweeping and would sneak into the work areas anytime he could.

Ashley got to watch lots of movies she had never seen before.  I took this picture when she and Uncle Mack were watching Cinderella.  I don't know who looks more interested?

The kids also loved the hammock and trampoline at the Burtons.  This is really a whole post on its own, but I'll mention it here anyway.

Ashley's favorite was a hammock swing.  "Higher!  Higher!" she'd shout to whoever had the patience to push her.  Right here she is bargaining for two more minutes after we told her it was Everett's turn.

This is just after we let Everett have his turn anyway.  She was a little possessive over that swing.

Everett's favorite was the trampoline.  He enjoyed figuring out tricks.

William loved the trampoline as well.  He'd laugh and laugh as the kids bounced him.  They don't weigh enough to do more than slightly jostle him, but I still worried a little every time they did it.

I will probably post more pictures later, but this is the gist of our trip.  It was tons of fun and the kids had plenty of opportunity to remember why they love their cousins so much!