Know what's funny?

It's funny that you can have a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day (name that book) for absolutely no conceivable reason and be close to a meltdown by the time your husband gets home from work.

It's funny that when you have a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, sometimes all you need is to go get in your car and drive...somewhere. By yourself.

It's funny that when that somewhere is 20 minutes in a grocery store, all of a sudden picking up a prescription and wipes can almost undo your almost meltdown.

And, it's funny that when you get home after the reviving store trip and your husband has made you an omelet and chatters about how he made his infant daughter giggle repeatedly...you can almost forget what a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day you had.

(Well, OK. The ice cream you bought at the store probably did help a little.)

Remember this picture?



...And this one?

Oh. And these?



These are expressions I see multiple (times fifty) times a day. The one thing you don't get with the pictures is the audio. But if you did get it, it would sound something like a child yelling into a megaphone. Seriously. I don't know how his little lungs can project sound to that degree. (And he always seems to bellow the loudest when my ears are the closest or my patience is the thinnest. But that is a whole other issue right there.)

But I think it is interesting that he has gotten to the age where he is reserved around people he doesn't know and in situations that are not at home.

Don't get me wrong, at home he really is a little dear and is very fun and loving. But he is also quite fiery and has a solid little temper.

So today when my visiting teacher told me how good he is in nursery, that he is "just so mellow all the time," I can't help but smile to myself. This doesn't necessarily surprise me because I know how reserved he is with people he doesn't know well, but it is funny to me that there can be such a drastic difference between home and away. I think all children are like this, but it is fun that Everett has gotten to this age. Babies will cry if they need something no matter where they are or who they're with. I guess kids hit a magic age where their reactions change depending on the situation.

Note: everything I've said here does not apply to Sacrament Meeting. Everett has no sense of displacement there.

Mantra, etc.

I was recently in my sister's room before she left on her mission, and I spied a quote on the wall that I'd forgotten I liked so much. She introduced it to me years ago (she's just great like that), and I was happy for the reminder. It is sort of my mantra, if you will, be it ideal or not.

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but always paddling like the dickens underneath.

--Michael Caine

I recently read (ok, begun) Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. It is the first book I've read of hers and I was excited to have a reason to read it, but that is another topic altogether. The reason I mention this is because a few months ago I was bored and saw a link on a blog to one of those online quizzes--you know the kind; admittedly silly, time-wasting, but in a girlish junior high kind of way, very intriguing and fun. It advertised, "Find out which Jane Austen character you are !!!!!!!!!" or something similar to that, give or take a few exclamation points.

I took it and secretly expected (hoped) that it would say I was most like Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice. When I looked at the results, however, I was surprised to note that it said I most resembled Elinor Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility. At the time I wasn't familiar with her character, but since I have taken that quiz I bought the movie and read part of the book. I do not think I am like her in every way, but I do think I am like her in that I prefer to take steps to mask whatever stress, gloom, or funk I am in, and that sometimes I feel I would have to exaggerate my natural outward reactions in order to match how I feel inwardly--positive and negative.

Somehow it just feels easier to me that way. But I do have to remember sometimes that now I am married. Now I have made a commitment to someone that I will share myself with him, and I think this includes the down times as well, because he has also made a commitment to be the one to bolster me up. Sometimes I am worse at this than others, like those (hormonal) nights when I seep tears onto my pillow and try my best to hide it because I know Joel is tired and "what good would it do anyway" because I can't find the words. Or take this week, for example. I have been grumpy and irritable at the drop of a hat all week, and I have tried my best to hide it. I apologized today that I have been this way and was floored when Joel looked at me and said, "You've been grumpy?". I don't feel so bad about hiding this from him because I would rather not leak my foul moods on him.

Sometimes I need to be good about asking for help, but before that, I need to be good about recognizing when I need help. I'm still working on this one. Somehow I get too caught up in the ideal that I have to do everything and be perfect at everything. Sometimes I get caught in the trap of being too apologetic. Sometimes I try too hard to look like I am not trying so hard to float.

Sometimes, I try to be too much like a duck.

So, I was particularly grateful for Elder Uchtdorf's talk last night. I have heard many people express simliar feelings. It was uplifting and renewing and encouraging, and afterward I felt like writing him a hundred thank-you notes. Mostly though, I felt the strength come rushing back I thought I had lost from shouldering the expectation of perfection. It was tangible and sweet and makes me look forward even more to this weekend's General Conference.

P.S. In case you missed the Relief Society Broadcast, or would just like a replenishing reminder, go here.

What I never thought I'd do...

Everett has a friend--"the other Everett" from our ward who is three weeks older-- over today for a playdate, and so since the boys are so happy together watching a movie and eating popcorn (if only for a few minutes), I thought I'd get a blog post in while I can.

You know how when you're growing up and you see a mother letting her kids do something you think you don't approve of, you think something along the lines of, "Well, I would never let my child do that." ? I was thinking the other day about all the things I do as a mother that I never thought I would do. Here are some off the top of my head:

1. I never thought I would let my child walk around outside with bare feet. But since Everett takes his sandals off the minute we get in the car, sometimes I just let him walk inside with them off. This means that they stay in the car and when we go back out to the car he has to walk barefoot again.
   
   
2. This was more when Everett was a baby, but I never thought I'd let him watch movies until after he was two. Hah. I don't know why I thought that was so vitally important, but then I got pregnant and had morning sickness and movies kept me sane. And now, well, I have a toddler who is a hundred times more energetic than me(surprising, I know) and movies help give us both some quiet, sitting-down, boisterous yelling-free time.
   
   
3. I always thought I would only give my children fruit or vegetables for a snack. Yeah, this was an impossible goal. I know there are a lot of mothers out there who manage it, but sometimes grabbing a handful of pretzels while we're running to go somewhere is the easiest solution. Or, sometimes I just don't have the energy to fight him to eat a few apple slices when I know neither of us will get anywhere, so I just give him what he asked for.
   
   
4. I never thought I would let Everett have a bottle (with only water in it) at night after we moved him to his toddler bed. That was a feeble goal. Fortunately the pediatrician has never had a problem with it, and so now I figure that if he's happy and healthy and generally happy to go to sleep, we're doing fine. That, and if he doesn't have it during the day (which he doesn't).
   
   
5. This doesn't have a lot to do with kids, but I always thought that I would get up and make a good breakfast for Joel and Everett every morning and we would all sit down to enjoy it together (insert appropriate sentimental music here). My family did this every morning thanks to my wonderful mother, but I suppose I've been holding off because usually when the boys wake up, Ashley needs to be fed and then I just end up getting Everett some oatmeal. Maybe when we have kids going to school we'll actually do this, but I'll probably say the same thing then, too.
   
   
6. I never thought I'd turn a blind eye to something Everett is doing that he isn't supposed to (like taking all the flowers out of my vase). But I do, all the time. I figure that if he doesn't know I know what he's doing, then I don't have to punish him, which would be really inconvenient seeing as I am probably feeding Ashley.
   
   
7. I never thought I would let my kid(s) eat on the couch. Everett has a snack on the couch almost every day. This will change in a few years because by then we'll probably have a new couch that I'll be paranoid about not staining. Right now we have a (very washable) slipcover on an old couch, which is great.

Well, I know there are more and I might add some later if I think of some. But I was wondering--what are the things you never thought you'd do...or think you won't do in the future? I'm curious to hear what they are. Maybe we can all have a good eye-rolling, forehead slapping, what-was-I-thinking, laugh together.

Special Bathwater

Yesterday I went to take a bath while Everett was still awake. Usually I try to do it when he is napping or when I know he is glued to his movie, but the water to our building was going to be shut off for maintenance so I had to get it in when I could.

So, I gave him a little plastic bowl with cheerios in it, I turned on his movie, and I plopped him on the couch in the hopes that he would stay occupied for ten minutes or so.

Not so. When he heard that there was water running he just couldn't help himself. I had left the door open a crack so I could hear the kids if they needed me, so Everett just walked right in. I just started washing my hair when I detected that something foreign was in the water. I turned around to look at the other end of the tub and Everett had dumped all of his cheerios in the water with me.

So, what did I do? I finished my bath. But don't worry, we got most of the cheerios out before I finished.

The whole scenario made me laugh, though. It was just a silly little thing that happened, but it's one of those things that when you don't have kids yet you don't imagine happening--you think that you'll always be watching them closely enough that these kinds of things will never go on.

But it did make me think that "Cheerios in the Bathwater" would be a good name for a book written by a mother about the crazy things that happen with kids.

Remember this picture?

Well, I was going to let Joel tell how he got the marks on his forehead, but the amazing thing is that there isn't much to tell. Joel went to bed Wednesday night looking forward to his interview with Notre Dame Thursday morning. He had a strange dream during the night that he was at the interview and the person interviewing him all of a sudden started accusing Joel of lying about an answer he gave. Joel kept telling him that he wasn't lying but the interviewer called him a liar nontheless.

Then, Joel woke up Thursday morning to get ready for the interview. When he looked in the mirror he noticed the two marks on his head (they're more pronounced in person). He couldn't figure out what they were or where they came from for the life of him, and with all my brainstorming I can't either.

They were not sore, they were not raised bumps, and they weren't from a marker or anything else that could color his head.

It was pretty strange. We don't even have anything in our house that is that shape. All I can think of is that he was sleepwalking Wednesday night and ran into something.

The plus to all of this is that while the marks didn't come up in the interview, the person who interviewed Joel may remember him better because of them. He might think they are some sort of birthmark or something like that and it will help Joel remain in his mind a little. Who knows? If anyone can shed some light on this mystery, go right ahead!

Family Pictures

We got our family picture taken a couple of weeks ago. My parents wanted to get one with all of us together before my sister went into the MTC, so we were able to break off and get one with just the four of us (and the kids by themselves). Some of them turned out better than others. Joel and I don't look as good in the family one, but getting good shots of the kids is always tricky so we can't be too picky. Here they are:

(click on it to see it bigger)

(somehow this isn't the best picture of her, but I can't put my finger on it.
In some ways she doesn't look like herself.)

(of course the day of pictures Everett has a pimple on his cheek)