Shots

Today Everett had his twelve month check-up and the shots that go along with it. His head size is in the 75th percentile, which is good, and he is getting shorter compared to the national average for his age with each doctor's visit. This is no surprise to me because he is too short for all of his pants. His chubbiness is actually below average now, and as far as numbers go, that percentage is only slightly higher than his height.

Then the Physician's Assistant, who is very warm and sweet, began asking all sorts of questions about his development and abilities as they are supposed to do, and when she got to the part about him talking, I told her that he doesn't really say very many words but that he can understand a whole slew of them. He says "ma" for three things: Me, More, and Milk. As far as I understood, he is right on track because he babbles, points, and when he plays with objects, he will frequently hold them out to me and "talk" about them to me. A lot of the time it is as though he is questioning me, and it is only when I give an answer that he is satisfied.

When I told the Physician's Assistant that he only said that one sound (which actually counts as three words), she frowned and told me that he should be saying between 3-5 words at his age, and then told me that I needed to "work on his vocabulary at home".

?????

Yes, that's right. Does anyone know of any baby flashcards out there? Apparently Everett's verbal skills aren't varied enough--he hasn't yet figured out the nuances of subject-verb agreement.

You can see I'm a little perturbed, but I am not holding anything against her. She is just doing her job. But this whole situation begs the question: when did we all become so obsessed with our children being "by the book" and "normal"? What is normal, anyway?

To me, normal is a happy little boy who loves laughing and exploring, has a knack for figuring things out, loves dancing and "singing" to music, and gets along just fine with his own babbling language. He uses it just like you or I would speak, only the sounds are jumbled so that it isn't actually English. He understands and responds appropriately to more words than I even think he does, but a few of them are:
Bottle, Go to sleep, Papa, Kitty, Doggie, Ball, Window, Baby, Book, Sock, Mama, Milk, More, Graham Cracker, Cheese, and Diaper.

It is a little strange for me to think that we should somehow expect all babies to hit the same milestones at pretty much the same time. We all know of a baby who talked "late" and ended up being exceptionally eloquent or having an impressive vocaubulary (case in point: my own amazing brother Mack). I have never doubted my son's intelligence, and I never will: I know that he will always be as intelligent as he, Everett, needs to be, and in the way that is best suited for him.

I just have to wonder if there is wisdom in expecting so much, or if it is better to just let our babies be the sweet, wonderful, well-adjusted babies that they are and stop worrying so much about comparisons.

Sometimes boys will be boys, but babies will always be babies. And let's let them be.