Happy 2010!

I still remember thinking in the year 2000 that it would be strange to start the 2010s. Here we are. I've experienced so many new things in the past decade that I won't bother listing them, but it has been a good ten years. I hope the rest of my life will be comparable in some degree.

I have been thinking a lot about goal-setting during the last month or so. Every year around Christmastime, I find myself drawn to a little introspection. I try to remember that Christ is the reason for all my holiday goings-on, and I try to make myself a little better as a gift to Him. This year, I had a clear idea of what I want to work on over the next year (and for the rest of my life, of course).

There are an endless amount of things I need to improve on, but I know if I try to do more than one thing at a time I won't make any progress.

My goal this year is to speak with kindness. I do not like the feeling I get when I am curt or insensitive to my children. I don't like yelling. I feel bad about myself and I feel bad for my children after I have yelled, and this is not something I want to live with.

I had to ask myself: What is the worse offense? For my children or my husband to do something stupid, mindless, disobedient, or annoying, or for me to reply to the offense unkindly and brashly? Time and time again, I know I would have the greatest fault.

I have noticed a huge difference in the atmosphere of my home on the days I am more successful with my goal. I used to think that if I yelled at Everett it didn't affect him in a negative way. I would also see no change in behavior and no more eagerness to do the right thing. I realize from my own experience that after I am yelled at, the person who yelled at me may have gotten over his or her anger quickly, but I carry the hurt around with me all day long and throughout the week (obviously my next goal should be on forgiveness!). I never want to see fear (fear of me) in my children's eyes when I am dealing with them, and I never want to cause them to carry around that kind of hurt unnecessarily. I can't think of many day-to-day things that are more un-Christ like than hurting someone's spirit or treating them with disrespect.

When I am able to hold myself together and discipline with kindness instead of irritation or curtness in my voice, Everett responds more obediently. He is much less agitated and he listens to what I have to say more often. I think this is because then the discipline becomes more about what he might have done wrong rather than "mom is so mad." I think he can also feel that I still love him. This is all kind of a no-brainer but it is the self-discipline part that is tough to master.

So, now that you've spent the last five minutes of your time reading about something you didn't ask to hear, do you want to share what your goal(s) are? Do you set any goals at the beginning of the year? Do you just have an ongoing process? Are you formal or informal about your goals? If the holiday season hasn't sucked up all of your energy, feel free to spill some of your thoughts.