Nice elderly man in the baby section at Target:
(motions to the kids) Are they yours?
Me: (proudly) Yes
Man: Wow! You look like you're twelve!
Me: (pause) *Laugh* Yes, I know! I look young for my age.
Man: No, really, you look like you're twelve!
Me: Ha ha ha, I get that all the time.
Man: You look so young.(Mutters loudly to self and shakes head: WOW!) (Pause) You're cute, though.
Me: Laughing, smiling, murmuring thanks, and backing away.
Note to self: Next time a member of my ward tells me that when he first saw me he thought I was a child, do not dismiss this assumption.
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This next bit takes place in the UPS store, where I was just given the grand total for a shipment.
Me: (Putting my eyeballs back in my sockets and lifting my jaw off the floor) Really? I thought you quoted XXXXX amount.
Nice older UPS employee: Well, the box costs 15 dollars, and then we have to pack it. . . (editor's note: yadda yadda, and how does this double the already inflated cost?)
Me: That is much more than I was expecting. I think I'll--
UPS man: Are you a member of AAA?
Me: No. . .
other UPS employee: She looks like she's a member of AAA. Doesn't she look like she's a member of AAA? She probably just left her card at home. (Looks at me knowingly) We don't have to scan the card or anything. You look like you're a member of AAA. We'll just put it in for you. I'm sure you'll be a member of AAA eventually.
Me: Uh, thanks (appreciative but knowing it will only take the total down a fraction).
UPS man: Your new total is XXXX
Me: Uh, thanks, but I think I'll just find a way to package it myself.
The UPS man was really nice about it and did not even comment on Everett's erratic behavior through the interaction. This is what I appreciated the most.
Note to self: Never use UPS again. Even though you knew this was going to happen when you went into the store, being proven right was not on your to-do list today.
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Me, after lugging a heavy bag, Ashley, and a dramatically collapsing Everett back to the car, sitting Everett down, and taking his car away:
I am not very happy with you, Everett. You ran around the store when I told you not to. You did not stay with me. I told you not to grab things off the shelves and you did it anyway. You did not listen to me when I told you to leave your shoes on your feet. You need to listen to me. When I tell you to use one finger to touch things and not to grab them, you need to listen to me. You cannot grab things off of the shelves. You need to STAY WITH ME when I tell you to stay with me.
Everett: Widens eyes, scrunches mouth, bellows angrily and defiantly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Me: Thinking--huh? How does that reaction make sense? Does this mean I got through to him or does it indicate the complete opposite? (Wondering if I sound like one of the adults in all those Charlie Brown movies.)
Note to self: No longer rely solely on your strategy to talk about appropriate behavior with Everett before going into the store. OR, do not go to the store when he should be having dinner. OR, actually grab that bag of candy from home to bribe him to stay near you with like you meant to. Please. OR, do not rule out the use of straitjackets as child restraints.
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Pucker Up
4 days ago
4 comments:
Elise, I would like to give you advice on this situation, however it is not something I have ever witnessed before. This is not to say my kids never acted like this, but as you probably know, you are more familar with the occurance then Joel would be. But it is so assuring to us fathers that our wives are loving, patient and resourseful when it comes to dealing with the children.
Love, Dad.
You are too nice to do this, but I have a tendency to feed into the annoying questions if I am in the right mood,"Wow, you look twelve." "Actually, I am sixteen." And then walk away giggling at the look on their faces. Yeah, you are nicer than I am.
I loved the way you encapsulated the situations. You should start tagging these as "book" so that you can pull them all into a book one day. And, yes, I would buy the book.
Thanks for the giggle and chance to recognize myself in your "notes to self."
I vote straitjacket!
Wow, I can't wait for that age.
Seriously, though, my nephews have all been exactly the same way. I think boys toddlers really are more difficult than girls, 80% of the time. However, Adam and I were both exceptions (I was awful and he was sober and obedient), so that's just a theory.
Oh, and you take the whole "you look twelve" thing so well. I'm sure I would respond politely too, but I would be so annoyed!
I believe that there is nothing wrong with bribing your child to behave in certain situations. Going shopping near dinner time would definitely qualify (in my book).
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