Murphy's Law

I set today aside to be my big, giant cleaning day. Things around here are not that dirty, but I don't want to really clean for this inspection and then have to do all of it all over again when we move. So, I'm doing it today. Nope, not yesterday (though I did some things, like touching up the walls), I'm doing most of it today. I didn't want to have to do it twice in a three week period, let alone twice in two days. With Everett you never know.

And let me tell you, this has not been a good idea. You know those days where you absolutely have to hope that your kids are 100% well-behaved, not only for your sanity but for their overall good? And you know how those days are most certainly the ones when they get into the most trouble?

Cue synopsis of today:

After scrubbing the bathroom, I begin to smell something suspicious. I look around, and Ashley had crawled up behind me with poop on her fingers, which are now in her mouth. I immediately found Everett, who was the culprit and had gotten into his diaper.

[lots of freak-out yelling]

[both kids in the bath]

[sighs of relief from me that this, which is probably the worst part of the day, is over]


THEN, I put on 101 Dalmatians, per Everett's request, and began to deep-clean his room. After a while--just long enough for me to lose myself in my chore--I see Everett walk by out of the corner of my eye.

When he walks by again, I realize that he is pants-less, and that his legs are a mottled brown.

Want to guess why?

[scolding, scolding, scolding]

wait. Make that:

[SCOLDING, SCOLDING, SCOLDING!!!!!]

And,

[Almost ripping my hair out because it is all over the living room floor.]

[Bath time. Again. This time Everett looks at me with sad eyes and reiterates that we don't play in diapers. Sorry, buster. It's too late for that now.]

With both kids crying in the bath tub, but me not letting them escape, I finally had the presence of mind to help Everett's poop-under-every-single-fingernail situation.

"Here," I said, tossing his animal figurines and two wash cloths into the bath. "Give your animals a bath."

Five minutes later we had clean fingernails, no crying, and a pulse that was just beginning to return to normal (mine).

It's before 1pm, and my list has barely been dented. Let's hope I have angel children for the rest of the day. I'd lock them both in the closet, Harry Potter style, but cleaning those are next on my to-do list.

I'd continue the post, but I just scratched my cheek and caught a whiff of some residual matter on my knuckle from our adventures this morning. Ahem. I'd better go take care of that.